“You didn’t feel that way when you asked her to marry you, did you?” Terrance asked with a chuckle. “Think about it. What was the final straw that made you decide you wanted to get rid of her?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was finding out her damned personal trainer was porking her three times a week. For some reason, that tripped my switch. She had me over a barrel. If I went for a divorce, even for adultery, she would have gotten half of everything, plus spousal support. That’s why I called you for suggestions.
“I never thought you’d get her to ask for a divorce by Wednesday, though. That was amazing. Your line of bullshit must have improved over the years,” I added.
“It has more to do with how my portfolio has improved over the years. Once she realized how much money I had, she couldn’t seduce me fast enough. I have to say that I’m going to miss her between the sheets. Banging your wife was one of the greatest highlights of my life,” Terrance gleefully admitted.
“That particular talent of hers was what got me into the mess,” I replied seriously. “You did a great job getting me free from a gold-digging bitch, but why aren’t you more concerned about how she’ll take being dumped? She might figure out the entire scheme. She may be a slut, but she’s a smart one.”
“Remember that I mentioned the big picture?” Terrance asked. “For an engagement gift, I gave Alana a weekend at Ritz with a spa day included.”
“You idiot,” I spat at him. “Didn’t I tell you that Alana’s stud, the personal trainer, was now working as a masseur at the Ritz? She could have run into him.”
“No shit? I asked for him by name when I set up the spa date,” Terrance revealed. “Last night I decided to visit her, just to see how happy she was with her gift. Since I had paid for the room, I had a key. Fortunately, I also had my phone set to video. Not surprisingly, I found her exceedingly happy… with her gift.”
“She was with him? You have video? She was cheating on you?” I managed as I slowly organized my thoughts. “You must have been very upset. Perhaps angry enough to break off the engagement?”
“Alana was devastated at my unforgiving attitude,” Terrance responded with a smirk. “It was the first time she had ever done anything like that. It would never happen again. I agreed with her on that. It won’t be happening to me. She’s out apartment shopping right now, at least between her sobs and curses.
“You owe me a dinner for getting her to state that she wanted a divorce on Wednesday,” Terrance added with a wide smile.
“You saved me a fortune, Bro. I’ll be delighted to buy you dinner. You’ve always been there for me. Alana has no clue about relationships, but you do. That’s what love is.”