“This is a, uh…” He was stammering. This wasn’t possible. “… I… I have to go…”
He darted past Hannah, making a b-line straight for the exit.
“Scottie! Wait-” was all she could say before he was out the door.
The late afternoon was already seeing a few commuters returning to their suburban homes after a long day at work. As Scottie walked down the sidewalk, his inner thoughts kept commenting on how there were a lot more vans and Bentleys than what felt normal.
He sat down on the curb, still unconsciously clutching the remote control. Across the street, he saw a woman standing on the corner typing away on her phone. Short brown hair in a pixie cut. Tight blouse and a jean skirt and laced sandals.
Feeling eyes on her, she looked up and smiled at Scottie.
She waved.
He waved.
As she was about to speak, a van pulled up. Someone in the back seat started talking to her. Must have been who she was waiting for as they soon drove away together.
Immediately after they left, a brown, busted Chevy pulled up where the van just departed. A flickering pizza sign barely clung to the roof. The door opened and out stepped a scrawny, red-headed kid who must be 18 or 19, but was surely missing his weekly board game group for the afternoon shift. Reaching into the back of the car, he retrieved an impressive stack of pizza boxes, then turned and walked up to a house.
Scottie watched as a group of coeds wearing what barely qualified as pajamas answered the door. They cast him puppy dog eyes and duck lips, then yanked the poor guy inside.
As the door slammed shut, a scuffling of feet drew Scottie’s attention to his right. He looked over to see an older man in his 50’s shuffling along, wearing a trench coat and approaching a mail carrier, just walking her route and doing her job.
He mumbled something to her about a package, then opened his coat revealing his saggy nakedness. Apparently, it was her kink as she nodded as if impressed, grabbed his flailing penis and dragged him to the bushes.
Suddenly, everywhere Scottie looked, people where either jacking off, jilling on, kissing, frigging, fucking, sucking, or if not participating, passing on by as if everything was normal. Hell, there was even a coed with a finger up her own ass watching a guy pounding his meat while he watched Old Widow Anderson watering her roses, all in broad daylight!
“Fuck me sideways,” Scottie said to himself. “… everything’s a porno…”
Slowly, a smile formed on his face.
“… and I’m inside it….” his smile grew wider. “… I’m in fucking Porno Land!”
Few can relate to the pure joy, excitement, and even a little fear that one feels when they win the lottery. Scottie felt in that moment as if this was leaps and bounds beyond even that.
He laughed out loud just imagining all the possibilities. His mind was going a mile-a-minute, which would explain why he didn’t hear the police motorcycle pull up.
The all too familiar chirp of a police siren woke Scottie from his horny daydream as he looked over, shielding his eyes with his hands from the setting sun as a figure emerged from the vehicle. Scottie was only able to make out the silhouette of the officer, but judging by the gentle sway in their hips and the curves on their form, he felt a stirring in his nether region.