Peggy tried to digest what Kyle was telling her. It was too much to take in all at once. She let the problem with her job go for the moment. Her marriage was far more important.
“Hon…Kyle,” she said hesitantly. “You wanted me to forgive you when you and Ann…when the mistake happened. Can’t you…can’t we work this out? I don’t care what I have to do to make it up to you…can’t you forgive me? I’m so, so sorry for what I’ve done to you.” Tears were streaking down her cheeks.
“Forgive? I don’t have anything to forgive you with, Peggy,” Kyle forthrightly. “You’ve worn me down…worn away all the love I had for you right down to the quick. There’s nothing left.”
Peggy started crying harder. There was such finality in Kyle’s weary voice. She was suddenly cold and afraid sitting in the den where she and Kyle had shared many an evening.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” she sobbed.
“Yeah, I do…a little bit, Peggy,” Kyle said truthfully. “Love isn’t something you quit doing on the spur of the moment.
“But I’ll learn,” he said defiantly. “It’s hard, but I’ll learn not to love you, Peggy. What the hell? This has been coming for a long time anyway. I’m so tired of the ways you kept trying to manipulate me and the kids…and everyone else around you…just so you would never have to give anything of yourself beyond a certain limit you set up.
“I think I see your mother in that,” Kyle said thoughtfully. “From the time Mandy was born…and even more when we had Todd…I’ve sensed something…a…oh, I don’t know.” He tried again. “Maybe it’s something like…well, it’s like you were convinced all you owed me was a child or two and when that was done, any love or respect for me as your husband…and a man…had to be pulled out of you. I don’t know why, but you sure seemed to be rationing your affections awfully tightly the past few years.”
“Kyle…that wasn’t the way I feel at all,” Peggy moaned. “I’ve loved you since the day I saw you on campus that day. I can’t live without you.”
“Well, you’re going to have to,” Kyle responded briskly. “I don’t know how you got the way you are, but ever since that dress thing, Peggy…ever since that damned dress, you’ve acted like our marriage was a war you had to win at all costs. Even the dress was a contest. You had to have it, and to get it you lied to me. Hell, you’ve been lying ever since about one thing or another.
“Like I said, I think your mother has had some influence there, Peggy,” he said. “I know she thought I was unreasonable when I got mad about the dress but it wasn’t the only thing we disagreed about. She’s taken every opportunity to stick another little barb in my hide whenever she had the chance. To her, you had to win every disagreement we had because you were the woman and I was the man.” Kyle was silent for a while.
“Well…anyway,” he said, “I’m really tired. I’m sorry for rambling on about things that don’t matter anymore,” he told her.
“Let me get back to the kids, Peggy,” he said firmly. “First of all, I’m not in Texas anymore. I’m going to be working out of state for a while and I won’t tell you where for now…maybe later. The TV stations can get along on their own for a while. I’ve got things set up pretty good with them. Brad has my power of attorney to do what needs to be done with them. Oh–and don’t bother asking down at my office because they don’t know where I’ll be either.