“Oh, it doesn’t matter to me. Was there anything that you wanted to watch, baby?” I said as naturally as I could.
David looked back at the TV. He selected a Netflix miniseries about a haunted house.
“This is trending number one lately,” he said. “Its a ghost show, I heard it was pretty good.”
“Okay, baby,” I said and smiled. I adjusted the blanket over my lap and took a sip of water. He started the show and adjusted the volume a little bit.
“Are you comfortable, Mom?” David asked as he turned his head toward me. I could see his eyes drawn down over my chest and I looked down and saw my nipples were hard. I covered them instinctively with my arm, feigning modesty and surprise.
“I’m cold,” I said, almost giggling. I was a surprised by my little-girl tone of voice. What is wrong with me? I started thinking to myself. What am I even doing? David is probably thinking I’m acting like a weirdo.
“Come here,” he said, and extended his strong arm around me to pull me in. He did it so naturally and confidently I immediately stopped worrying and felt safe. I scooted over next to him and laid my head against his shoulder and chest. He kissed the top of my head affectionately and caressed my shoulder.
Yes. I thought as I snuggled into him and the show started playing. This is what I wanted.
I tried paying attention to what was on the TV, but I really didn’t care that much. I was so focused on how warm and beautiful I felt being held by David. I could feel every touch of his hand on my skin, his breath, his heartbeat. He smelled so good. I adjusted the blanket so we were both under it and when our legs brushed against each other, it felt electric.
I was loving every second of cuddling with my son. It was still in the realms of normal, but this was definitely a new level of affection and physical intimacy for us. My brain must have been releasing a ton of oxytocin, because I was just in heaven. I could have died right there. I loved him.
My son was a man, and he was making me feel like a woman. Its that simple, that basic. I was just basking in the warmth of his masculinity. It was drawing out of me my own femininity. I wanted to show him that. I wanted to be recognized as a woman.
My rational mind was a bit confused as to why my body was reacting so strongly and involuntarily. I wondered how David felt and if it was anything close to what I was experiencing. His body language seemed totally at ease and comfortable, and so I just let myself enjoy the moment we were in. I nuzzled my head into his chest and he would smell my hair and every once in a while kiss the top of my head. I had to put my hand somewhere so eventually I let it sit on his thigh.
I stayed still for most part, my eyes were looking at the TV screen, but I wasn’t absorbing any of it. At some point without even realizing it, my thumb was moving side to side, lightly and slowly caressing David’s thigh. I started to notice that there was a slight pull or tightening of the material of his pajama pants. I wondered if my son was having an erection.