I looked at his text again.
If you’re too tired, we don’t have to do it tonight.
We don’t have to do it tonight.. Fuck? I knew he didn’t mean it that way. But maybe it was a double meaning. I did just invite him to my bedroom.
I discarded the white and blue striped tank top I was going to wear, and got out a black satin cami. It went down a little lower than the tank top. It was sexy, but it looked somehow a little less vulgar and more graceful. This is just what a Mommy wears to sleep, I thought.
I made up the bed and put all the pillows against the headboard so we could sit up. I found my toy underneath one of the pillows and put it back in my underwear drawer. The lamps on either side of my bed had smaller light bulbs underneath the main one in the body of the lamp that kind of mimicked candlelight and gave the room a warm glow. I turned the TV on and brought up Netflix. I tried to steady my breathing. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good. My nipples were hard. I opened my bedroom door then went back to my bathroom. I texted David.
I’m just going to brush my teeth, baby. You can come in a couple minutes.
I brushed my teeth and just tried to clear my head and calm down. This didn’t need to be anything weird. My son and I were allowed to watch a show together and enjoy each others’ company. We were allowed to cuddle and be affectionate. Are you allowed to get naked and fuck?
I cleaned my mouth until it tasted minty fresh. A picture formed in my mind of us kissing open-mouthed. I shook it away for a moment until another image flashed in my mind of us french kissing again, this time naked. I pushed it out of my mind even as my heart started reacting. As I walked back into the bedroom, I saw David walking in through the open doorway.
“Hey,” he said calmly as I walked towards the bed and picked up the smart TV remote. He was wearing a tight white v-neck t-shirt and maroon pajama pants. I had gotten them for him for Christmas the previous year. They were Ralph Lauren. They were an ultra-soft thin cotton and judging from a quick glance at his bulge, I didn’t think he had anything on underneath them.
“Hey,” I said back as I handed him the remote. I tried to smile as I made eye contact with him but I was too nervous. I was actually terrified. I must have looked like a deer in headlights. I turned my back to him and crawled onto the bed. I was trying to behave modestly but I knew I probably just gave him a nice look at my ass, and my sheer pink panties.
I got on the far side of the bed and sat up against the headboard. He got next to me in the bed and started clicking through the Netflix menu. I took a sip of water from the Poland Spring on my night table. David found our show and hit play. It was a little awkward because we hadn’t even said anything. We were just sitting next to each other. I saw him look at me but I kept my eyes on the TV.
“Your hair looks good, Mom,” he said. I looked at my son and made eye contact with him. I smiled.
“Thanks baby.”
“You want to cuddle?” he asked as he put his arm around me.
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