“That’s what I don’t like about you, Mikey!”
She knew I didn’t like “Mikey.” She knew it, yet said it.
“I have to see my aunt and uncle first. I’ll be over after that.”
“My aunt and uncle … aunt and uncle,” she taunted in that mocking voice I hated. Then she hung up before I could get all tauntaceous on HER!
**************************
A half hour later I was sitting in my uncle’s driveway. They lived on the other side of town, only a ten-minute trip. I sat there for longer than the trip took. Then I breathed in and out four or five deep and crawled to the front door.
I debated whether to ring the bell or use the brass knocker. I knocked.
Auntie Lee answered the door. She wasn’t smiling. Not at all. She didn’t even talk, just nodded me in.
She walked to the living room, and I followed. Uncle Zack was sitting on the couch and my aunt took a seat next to him. I sat in a stuffed chair facing them both. It wasn’t usually there so they must have moved it for this “meeting.”
“What a great celebration last night!” Uncle Zack didn’t sound down or nervous or worried. He sounded like his old, usual self. A big difference from how I felt—or how Auntie Lee looked. “Friends, well-wishers, family. All hoping the next year will be the best of our lives … you mother’s and mine.”
“Uh-huh.” That was as much emotion I could put into agreeing with him.
“I got to thinking: what would make this coming year the best one of my,” he reached out and took my aunt’s almost-unwilling hand, “the best one of OUR lives? You know what my answer was?”
I think that was one of those questions where the guy asking it doesn’t want you to butt in, so I didn’t.
“My answer was this: finally it was time for us to have a baby! Your aunt has always wanted a baby; I’ve always wanted a baby. So, why don’t we have a baby already?”
I made a little motion with my hands when he waited, almost like he wanted me to answer this one. Almost.
“SPERM!” His volume startled me, and Auntie Lee. “Sperm. It’s all over the place. Billions of people are born because of it. So, what’s the problem? Answer: my sperm. My sperm no good. The sperm with my DNA—no good. And, I hope you don’t think I’m being picky just because I want my son or daughter to have some shred of my DNA in them.”
I gave a “no” shake of my head.
“So where do I find some sperm with my DNA?”
“Me?” It was the first word I said since I got there and even that was barely audible.
Uncle Zack smiled at his wife. Both she and I didn’t smile. “See, I told you he was smart. It’s in the DNA. That’s why I want it. Mikey, that’s why I want your sperm to go from there,” and he pointed to my crotch, ” to here.” And he pointed between my aunt’s legs.
“Zack, you can’t ask—”
“I CAN ask!” he cut her off. “And I can beg. I’m asking first.”
I had never seen my uncle vulnerable. He was always the one in control. This made me uncomfortable in ways I never thought of before.
“You’re putting pressure on him. Can’t you see that. He shouldn’t have to answer to you—to us. He’s got his whole life starting brand new. Don’t do this, Zack. I don’t want you to beg, but I’ll beg. I’ll beg you not to make Mikey say ‘no’ … or say ‘yes’ even. He shouldn’t have to.”