I said, “I’d love to see that video.”
He chuckled and said, “I’ll make you a copy.”
This was getting on the edge of weird. I finished my beer and got a couple more. I asked Jacob if he had anymore cameras installed. He said, “No, but I want to put one in your other neighbors house. That Divi is wicked hot and her mother? Fuck, she’s some kind of MILF.”
I looked at him for a moment and then said, “Jacob? Please don’t do that to them. I care for both of them. Okay?”
He looked at me with an odd expression and said, “Okay. Cool.” He tapped his beer can on mine as if to seal our agreement and then he guzzled the rest. He stood up and staggered to the left and then back to the right. I steadied him as he came to equilibrium. He stated that he was fine. Yeah right. I helped him back to his house and Ashley took possession of him with a disgusted look on her face.
She thanked me for getting him home and told me to come over at seven o’clock for dinner. The disgusted expression returned as she said, “It’ll probably be just the three of us.” Behind Ashley, I heard a loud and gross belch and Jacob staggered to the kitchen sink and puked. Ashley paid little attention and turned back to me and said, “Fuck. I ain’t cleaning that up. Brie can do it. She’s fucking him; she may as well clean up after him too.” I chuckled to myself thinking, ‘I guess Jacob isn’t as smart as he thinks he is, and Ashley isn’t as dumb as he thinks she is either.’ In my foggy minded condition, I wondered if I’d got all the ‘smarts’ and ‘dumbs’ and ‘he’s’ and ‘she’s’ in the right place in that thought.
I excused myself and staggered across the driveway and returned to my deck. I sprawled out in my chair and quickly fell asleep, or passed out. Whatever.
I woke to a far-off voice calling my name, “Jack. Jack. I know you’re there. I can see you. Dinner is almost ready.” I came to enough to recognize Ashley’s voice. I waved to her and sat forward to assess my condition. The nap had helped a lot. I was thirsty and I went to the kitchen and guzzled a half-liter bottle of water. I splashed water on my face to revive myself from the nap. I had no idea what Ashley and Brie would be wearing for dinner so I just pulled on a pair of cargo shorts and a short-sleeve shirt and sandals. It turned out that I was overdressed. Both Ashley and Brie were still wearing their bikinis that they had tortured the teenage boy in, at the store.
I was curious to see if Jacob made it to dinner but I wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t. I didn’t ask any questions and neither of the women raised the subject. The steaks were amazing. I made a mental note to buy my meat at the corner-store from now on. Who would have thought. I don’t know which of the women did the cooking but everything was great. Frankly, I couldn’t picture either of them being very domestic.
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