Now that I was close, I could see him face. I did not see the scowl I normally saw now, he looked peaceful in his sleep. For a moment I considered just leaving him now, not bothering him with more unpleasantness. But then suddenly his eyes flickered open. He must’ve heard the chair creaking underneath of me. He turned and looked at me and jumped, surprised that someone was in the room. I couldn’t help but smile, he was so cute.
“Anna?” he asked.
“Yes, Joseph I…” I said, the facts trying to pour out of my mouth.
“You can’t be here, what are you doing here?” he said, sounding panicked. He looked to the door and saw that it was closed.
“Joseph, listen…”
“I told you, I’ve said everything I am…”
“I am getting married,” I said. And suddenly it was quiet in the room. He looked at me strangely. I felt the tears now in my eyes.
“What?” He said, even though he’d heard me.
“Pastor Davis,” I said, my voice catching in my throat, “He is to be my husband.” I buried my face in my hands and cried. With abandon. I completely lost control of myself again. Joseph sat up in the bed. I felt him lean over and wrap his arms around me, holding me close, pulling me. He wasn’t wearing a shirt while he slept and my face buried in his chest. I cried while he held me. I hadn’t known what I was going to do, but when I saw him, crying was all I could think to do. He rocked me in his arms. After a long while, I was able to get myself under control.
“I am so sorry,” Joseph whispered into my ear.
“I always knew I was going to be married like this,” I said.
“No, not that,” he said, pushing me out of his chest and looking me in the eye, “I am sorry that I pushed you away. I wasted our last few months together. And I was so mean.” He said.
“You were protecting our souls,” I said earnestly, I had not come to make him feel guilty. But I was also relieved. Relieved that he regretted our separation too.
“I was a fool. Father’s voice was coming out of my mouth. I was just a coward. You are my soul Anna,” Joseph said, “You are the only person in the world I have ever truly loved.”
“I love you too,” I said. I was still sitting in the chair, leaning over towards the bed. Joseph looked into my eyes. For a long moment we just looked at one another. And, I think, at the exact same instant we realized we would never be alone again. Joseph pulled my quickly into the bed. I moaned and my arms wrapped around his body. And then our lips were together! So much less thought and planning this time, not exploration. But a passionate kiss. Our mouths opened and our tongues splashed together in our mouths.
Joseph kept his lips against mine but pulled me under covers, into his bed. I felt the warmth of his body underneath. He pressed his body against mine and I realized that he was not just shirtless, but completely naked in the bed. I felt his hard shaft against my hip. I pushed his away slightly.
“What,” he said. I quickly pulled my nightgown up over my head and threw it onto the floor. I didn’t want anything to separate us, I needed my skin on his.
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