After a little while she rests her head against my chest and I kind of hold her that way. She wraps her arm around my waist and stretches her hand underneath my tee shirt. We sit like that for a little while. Her hair feels sweet against my face. I can just make out the rise and fall of her breathing and the warmth of her body through her pyjamas.
Her fingers circle lightly over the skin of my stomach. It feels so nice when she does that. I never want her to stop doing that. She tells me sometimes how much she loves touching my skin. She makes me promise to her that nobody else can touch me that way. I would promise her anything, I think she must know that.
I want to close my eyes but I’m scared that I will fall asleep and that when I wake up she will be gone. Her touch makes me feel calm and I want to let myself go, but I don’t want this to stop. It’s as if she knows. As my body begins to relax against hers she turns her face up towards mine and looks at me. She leans up just a little so that her lips press lightly against my mouth.
It’s a goodnight kiss, that’s all. Just my mom wanting to feel close to me before we sleep.
She looks at me again after she has done that. She’s stroking her fingers back and forth across my waist, just above the waistband of my shorts.
“Does that feel nice honey?”
She speaks so quietly and so softly. I don’t really know if she wants me to answer. I look down at her face. It’s those eyes. There is something so special about those brown eyes. She waits for me.
“I love you mom, you know that don’t you?”
It’s not the answer to her question but it’s what I want to say to her. I do love her, of course I do. But, right here and now, I say it because I want her to know that I can sense a part of her that is just for me. I want to her to know that I can feel that and I want her to know that I am always here for her, especially now.
She puts her face back against my chest. Her touch seems a little more deliberate now. She makes circles across my stomach. The TV is still talking to me but it’s just a quiet noise without meaning. Instead, all of my senses are trained on her and her touch.
“You won’t ever leave me baby, will you?”
She sounds a little vulnerable when she says that. Maybe I shouldn’t, but it makes me feel good to know that she worries about being without me. I like her needing me that way.
“No mom, I promise, I’m going always be here for you.”
Her fingers edge up slowly as she moves her touch across my nipple. It sends a tremor through me. There is something about her touching me like that. It’s more than a simple physical touch. I can tell that she wants me to feel pleasure, a type of pleasure that is just for me. She is showing me she understands and that she knows how it feels.
She moves to kiss me again. Her lips are open just a little. She’s still touching me, still stroking my nipple with the tips of her gorgeous fingers. Her lips are soft and moist. She has kissed me like this before. This time though I want her to know. I want her to feel like I do. I want her to know that I don’t want this stop.