Biology lesson at the faculty Christmas party

“You’d use any means at your disposal to make sure I was successful at planting my seed in your bellies. Once you were pregnant, my whole demeanor toward you would change. I would shower you with compliments and tenderness. I’d spent hours snuggling you with my hands on your gravid belly, whispering how sexy you were carrying my child. When our child was born, I would dote on the child, showing just how fatherly and gentle I was with your offspring.

“You’d soon realize I was a good man who loved his children. You’d fall ass over tea kettle in love with me. If you gave me children, there’s a pretty good chance you’d actually live out your lives as happy women. Eventually, you would come praise me for my strength, rationalizing that I protected you, gave you a good standard of living, and made your offspring more secure and more prosperous. In the same manner, you would eventually come to despise your previous husband’s weakness. You’d do it all without even realizing how you’d been manipulated.”

Greg leaned back in his chair and stretched. He looked each woman at the table in the eye. He was shocked to see that some of the women were extremely turned on by his narration.

“Why did people, 8,000 years ago, do stuff like this? They did it because in that time and place, humans actually believed in the concept that ‘might makes right’.”

Greg spread my arms out to indicate the entire room.

“So if ‘might makes right’ today, this is now my harem.”

Greg noted that he could have heard a pin drop.

Greg looked each woman in the eye. When he got around the table he said, “Men, your wives belong to me. The only thing that would be left to do would be for me to decide which woman I would take in front of the room tonight.”

There was a visible frisson. It spooked the absolute shit out of the party goers. Greg couldn’t believe that they just sat there and took it. He’d never before thought that people that smart would be such sheep. He marveled to himself what a supremely weird moment this was.

He broke the silence. “Aren’t you all glad that we don’t believe that any more? As we spoke earlier, human morality and social systems have evolved. We now believe in individual rights. We believe in the right for a woman to self determine. We believe in the sanctity of marriage. We don’t believe in maiming and castration as punishment. We don’t believe in ownership of people anymore.

“The greatest force for change in the evolution of our moral systems in the last two thousand years was Christianity. It may come as a shock to everyone here, but I’m actually well grounded and knowledgeable in Christianity. As a boy, I was raised in church and despite being a strict evolutionist as an adult, I still understand what the church teaches. I admire it.

“For those of you who lack my knowledge and grounding, the salient characteristic of Christianity is forgiveness. Christ preached that we could be forgiven for our sins against God. A prerequisite of receiving forgiveness for our sins is a willingness to forgive others who have sinned against us.

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