No doubt about it I was just as guilty as he was, drunk or not, probably more in fact, did I enjoy it? I came to the same conclusion I did sitting on the loo, I did yes, no matter how much I thought about it I did enjoy it, no matter how bloody wrong it was, I just didn’t know what Stephen thought, but I took it as a given he would remember what happened, he’s smart & intelligent and he knows when to speak and when to shut up, and he’s the mirror imagine of Roger, for a second I thought that was the answer until it echoed in my head what he said “ mum I’m about to cum should I pull out” that was that excuse gone.
One way or another I had to talk to Steve about it, fortunately Roger was going up to Newcastle upon Tyne at the weekend which was two days away, he was going to be away for 3 days working on a TV commercial so that gave me a chance, I simply couldn’t risk bringing this up while he was still there and I was heavily relying on Steve not to try too either, and to be honest it scared me but I couldn’t show it.
So Friday morning came and Roger was all packed for his trip, he left saying he would see us Tuesday or Wednesday depending on how things went, I had to get to work too, I told Steve I would see him later and I needed to talk to him, all day I was wondering what on earth I was going to say to him, after all it wasn’t all his fault and he had kept quite about it, getting back home that I had something to eat then called Steve down stairs, I suppose you know what this is about young man, Errrrr yes I think so mum, Ok then explain the other night then, just what do you think you were doing? Mum I’m so sorry for that just couldn’t help my I just couldn’t help myself, with the beer and everything, Ok Steve that’s enough, I have something to say, it wasn’t all your fault, I thought you had gone to bed that night so I got undressed and walked in to turn off the TV, I was just as surprised as you, now I know we can talk like adults about this so why don’t we even though it’s probably embarrassing, we both know it’s not what most people would consider normal mother son behaviour what happened, and I know we had both been drinking, but it’s no excuse is it, god knows what have happened if your Dad had came downstairs, but the simple truth about it is, I could have stopped it and didn’t, and you obviously knew what you doing and who you were with so lets not pretend, the truth is Stephen, and I’ve thought about this a lot I enjoyed it, Ok your turn to speak.
He just sat there not knowing what to say! Or how to say it! I just admitted I let it happen and enjoyed it! The thought flashed through my mind, shit what have I done cause he might not be able to handle it, after a few seconds, which seemed like a year, he finally spoke, Mum I never meant it to go that far, I don’t know what got into me, but seeing you like that was just too much what with all the beer I had, and the conversation was a little sexy that night, Oh you remember I said! If we are being honest with each other it’s all I’ve thought about for the last couple of days, I was a little sacred of saying anything to you with Dad around too, Well I said, at least we’re on the same page, despite all that, did you enjoy it? and please be truthful, yes I did he answered, do you regret what happened? No he said, do you? I also said no.
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