“It would be, for some people,” I answered.
She continued, “He usually won’t do anything if the kids are home, even if they’re sound asleep. Their rooms are upstairs, and we have motion-sensor nightlights all over the place for safety, just in case someone wanders. We would easily see the light under the bedroom door, and we would lock it anyway, but he doesn’t think it’s worth the risk.”
I said, “To a degree, I see his point, but you two should be able to work around it. Give the kids a gold star or something if they stay upstairs, and then some reward when they earn enough.”
Sarah shrugged. “The kids already stay upstairs. It’s probably been three years since either one of them has gotten out of bed in the middle of the night, and that was only when we all had the flu. Tim’s just not that into sex, I guess.”
“You are?” I asked.
“Wow, pretty direct with the questions, there, Dr. Croswell!” she laughed.
“Too direct?”
“No, I guess not. If I actually dragged Tim to counseling or something, they’d probably ask the same thing. So, I guess the answer is yes. I do like sex. Or, at least, I think I do. Or would. I can’t believe I’m saying this,…” she trailed off.
“I’m not sure I understand. Are you saying you think you should like sex, but you’re not sure if you do?”
Sarah’s phone rang. “It’s Tim,” she said.
Finished with dinner, I excused myself to give her privacy to talk. She was just hanging up when I came back to the table.
“Problem?” I asked.
“No, just an update from the home front. The kids are getting ready for bed, and Tim’s going to watch one of his stupid war movies,” she replied.
We sipped our drinks quietly for a minute. Then she said, “I’m going to try to answer your last question. I think I like sex, but I feel like I should enjoy it more. See, Tim’s the only man I’ve ever been with. We saved ourselves for our wedding night.”
“I see.”
“Stop being so clinical, Doctor,” she chuckled.
“I’m sorry. I’m just not used to learning this much from a work colleague. Okay, you gave each other your virginity on your honeymoon.”
“Yes, we were both raised to wait, and we did. I guess that’s good,” she said.
“Well, sure, you shared, you expressed your emotional love physically, and you learned together how to bring each other pleasure,” I said.
“See, that’s the thing,” she responded. “I’m not sure how much we’ve learned.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do I have to say it out loud? All right, fine. I’ve never had an orgasm from sex. I’ve never had an orgasm with Tim in almost nineteen years of marriage. I’ve faked it every time.”
“Sarah, some women have a lot of difficulty achieving a strictly vaginal-based orgasm. As long as he’s satisfying you in some way,…”
“But he’s not. That’s another problem,” she said.
“What about manual stimulation, or oral?” I asked.
“He spends a couple of seconds rubbing around down there, and then he’s ready to go. Tim doesn’t do oral. He says it’s not clean, and that it’s disgusting. I even tried to do it to him, since I’ve heard guys like it a lot. I thought maybe he wouldn’t be so hung up about it if I did it first, but he pushed me away and wouldn’t even kiss me for a couple of days.”
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