Lynn was breathing hard now as she continued, “It was no picnic for me either, having to watch my mother making out with some guy; sometimes with friends in my room. But for dad…you were the wife he loved. You were his life. Do you know how badly you have to hurt someone before they turn their back on someone they truly love? Do you? Tell me, did you ever love him?”
Then she stopped, not knowing what else to say at the moment.
Sherry’s answer shocked Lynn.
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I was ever in love your father.”
Lynn gasped.
“Dr. Royce said she had told your father that maybe I only liked the idea of being married to him and looking back I guess that’s possible. I mean, I loved your father, but maybe I was never in love with your father, at least not in the degree he loved me. I’m certainly not proud of it, but it is certainly possible. I mean, how else can I explain all of the stupid things I’ve done to him?”
“Can you believe that? I had a man as good as your father and I didn’t appreciate him enough to be his faithful wife. Funny thing is that part of the reason I cheated was because I thought your father was dull and boring…and now I would give anything to have him back in my life. That too is the narcissist in me coming out. Even though I may not truly love him, I want him back anyway because it’s all about me. It’s always all about me.”
“As for your father being dull and boring, it’s just his way and that would be enough for most women. As for him not being around as much as I wanted him to be, there was a good reason for that. He was working hard to give his family a good life and being a great dad for his daughter. But I was too self-centered to see it that way.”
“Oh Lynn, you wouldn’t believe how many times I considered showing up on your father’s doorstep like I did yours today just to tell him face to face how sorry I am.”
Lynn’s jaw dropped, “You took a chance with me mother, but don’t think for a minute that a meeting with dad would be anything other than a disaster.”
Sherry looked down to her lap as Lynn continued, “Look mother, he would never do anything to physically hurt you. It’s just not in him. But I’m looking out for him. He’s scarred more than you can ever imagine and even though he’s trying to move on with his life, it’s hasn’t been easy for him. You showing up to chat isn’t going to go over all that well, believe me.”
Sherry nodded knowing her daughter was right.
Lynn then asked with more than a hint of trepidation, “Did you ever love me?”
Sherry had not expected her question, but true to her word she answered honestly, “Yes…but as with your dad, probably not as much as I should have. Don’t forget I’m narcissistic. Doctor Royce pointed out that I always put my needs ahead of anyone else’s. I no doubt did the same with you.”
Lynn cocked her head and Sherry could tell she was confused.
“Want an example? You saw the show in its entirety, right?”
Lynn nodded.
“Then you’re already aware of the best example of my narcissism. The night of your prom. The night I bowed out and let you father go alone to chaperone and all because I wanted to experience the excitement of sleeping with a neighbor. I did similar things in the past too, not to cheat, but I still put my needs before you or your fathers. And to think, either of you would drop everything if I asked you to do something for me.”