He was hypnotised by her evermore.
‘I like you,’ she countered.
‘I thought about it too,’ Rob then confessed.
‘Oh okay,’ Marie trailed off anxiously. ‘What?’
‘Kissing you!’
‘I got a bit carried away, didn’t I?’ she said, inwardly chastising herself.
‘I didn’t stop you. I wanted it. I wanted more. Is that weird?’ She was about to nod, not wanting to, hoping that he’d just shut up and kiss her again. ‘Of course it’s weird,’ her son continued. ‘You’re my mum. Why do I feel that way about you?’ Their eyes never left each other. Eternity passed.
Love and doubt clouded his eyes. That frightened her. Had she ruined her relationship with her lost son the moment she had truly found him? What were these feelings and where did they come from?
She was as lost as he was. They were both strays, left behind out of life’s cruel circumstances, then bound together by a lifetime of yearning. What they felt for each other was unnatural in the eyes of society but so natural for warm blooded flesh.
These two souls had searched the nether all their lives without knowing it. Their hands met, fingers entwining instinctively once again.
‘It’s a different kind of loneliness, I guess, you having wondered who I was for so long and me having lived with the prospect of never having known you,’ she finally grasped.
Their hands clasped together then. Marie’s heart all but exploded. Her breathing was suddenly playing on his ears, shallow and somewhat trepid. Then she just smiled and it was beautiful, soothing and proud all at once.
‘Does that explain where we are, though?’ he asked.
‘Maybe, maybe not, but I don’t feel that it matters. What do you feel?’
‘I feel lost and found all at once,’ Rob said after some thought.
‘That to me is love!’
‘I don’t know,’ he shrugged. ‘Well, I do know but should I feel this way about you particularly?’
‘Why shouldn’t you?’
‘Oh I don’t know,’ he gave in. ‘It’s too difficult to fight. Who cares?’
She smiled at that, uncontrollably. The whites of her teeth unbound by her modesty, Marie Redgrave looked like a teenager to her son. And here they were, snuggled on a couch in front of a forgotten movie, talking about love.
‘No, you can’t fight love, or you’ll just fall harder and hurt yourself,’ she remarked and then her smile faded into something more careful and sober. A guttural sigh escaped her lips, her chest heaving momentously. She squeezed his hand and refused to let go.
‘But what about attraction? Love is one thing…’
‘I honestly don’t know. Are you saying you’re attracted to me?’ Marie asked and patiently listened.
‘It’s impossible not to be,’ Robert boldly stated.
‘No it’s not. But if you are, then…’ She shrugged. What? Then what? ‘Thank you.’
8
Again she wore her briefs and a light t-shirt for sleep. She didn’t often wear clothes to bed at all, only on the colder nights. So she spent some time looking at herself in the mirror to make sure she wasn’t dressed inappropriately; just adorable enough to be cuddled. And then she found herself gazing a little too long, touching one cheek with the soft flat of her hand and thinking of him.