DON’T… I hushed myself.
I was close, so close to getting back my composure, when the smell hit me like a hurricane. It was pungent, biting at my nostril like a freshly sliced onion. My eyes watered, and my lids opened. I looked down at my son, his body still trembling. It was as if opening my eyes made the smell stronger, more present. I knew the smell, as prude and inexperienced as I was, I knew that smell.
I leaned back, unsure of how to close, so I did what I’d always done in a session.
“All done.” I breathed out loud, letting the air leave my tense body. “Can I get you a water, sweetie?” I said as I stood up and walked to the kitchen.
I opened the refrigerator as I heard him move around on the floor. Then I heard the footsteps and the door to the bedroom close.
I was afraid to turn around for the first minute or so, but finally worked up the nerve and turned toward the floor.
The glow from the refrigerator illuminated the blanket just enough to see the baseball sized wet spot. I closed the refrigerator and walked over to where we just had our session and I let my nose lead the way.
I sniffed around, and the burn hit me. I felt my body shiver, as I leaned in smelling what my son had left behind.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but I knew that I didn’t want to just throw the sheets in the wash. I leaned in closer, smelling him, his seed.
The reality suddenly hit me… my son had orgasmed as I massaged him. I leaned in closer, too close… the tip of my nose touched it… him… and I felt my own orgasm at the tip of my clit.
I breathed heavily, my mind leaving my body, unable to control my movements…
I got on my knees, and slid my long Johns down past my thighs to my knees. I was exposed. I felt goosebumps, and the heat from my vagina breath along my inner thighs. I was shaking. I lowered myself until my vagina was touching his now cold seed. I rubbed myself into him as the orgasm took over my body. I thought to myself, maybe his seed was still alive, then I immediately shook it of as a dumb thought. I fell backward off my knees, and I cupped my vagina with one hand, and bit the knuckles of my other hand in an attempt to hush myself.
My mind flashed to his barely covered body laying there spasmodic as he spilled his seed.
My body finally stopped shaking, and the guilt immediately crawled up my spine and into the forefront of my brain. It sat there, holding me hostage until the tears ran down my cheeks. I slid my pants back up over me, covering my privates like a battered creature.
I wasn’t sure what I should do from there. I wanted to get the blanket cleaned up as fast as I could, but at the same time, I needed to clean my body off… as if I could wash the sins straight from my soul.
I managed to throw the clothes into the washing machine, and crawl into a bath.
As I sat there, I felt the guilt weigh me down like a cinder block, my body sinking in the warm bath water. I was guilty, plain and simple. I did a bad thing… a very bad thing, and the only thing I knew to do, was to push it out of my mind the best that I could manage, and act like it never happened.
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