“Didn’t you say you saw the history?” I asked, legitimately confused.
“Yes… but they are coded or something. Like locked. I don’t know. I looked up the names and found forums… other wives, saying that they are pornographic sites.”
“He’s a man, Jane.” I shrugged subconsciously, “I mean… I’m sorry but they do that. We don’t want to believe it… we don’t want to acknowledge it, but… they do.”
She continued, ignoring my comment, “He walked out and got mad at me. He yelled, I yelled. I asked him what was in the locked files…” she cried, “he wouldn’t tell me.”
“Nothing?” I pressed, curious.
“He said work stuff.”
“You said chats?” I asked her, refreshing her memory from earlier when she came crying.
“He visited chat sites…” she wiped her nose, “I couldn’t see anything…”
“He works with the government, Jane, you very well could have stumbled upon a file that was classified.”
She sniffled, “that’s what he said.”
I scooted next to her. “Look Jane, he loves you. I don’t know or want to know anything about what goes on in the bedroom, but him looking at porn, if he even was… is wrong, but it is no reflection of you.” I put my arm around her, “I’m sure Roger did it.” I sighed, unsure if I should go on… “I caught my father doing it when I was younger.”
She gasped, “what?”
“Yeah… I don’t think my mother had a clue.” I said, and figured I’d stop at that.
“My goodness.”
“My point is, it goes on. I can talk…” I started.
“No… please don’t…” She pleaded, “especially from you, his mom, talking to him about pornography.” She had a disgusted look on her face.
I was a little taken aback, but decided it best to take a back seat… after all, we had our 2020 winter trip coming up, and I wanted to make sure that it was pleasant. And… the last thing I wanted to do was discuss pornography with my adult son.
“I won’t say a word.” I said as I crossed my heart, “but relax… it’ll be okay. If you need anything, I’m here.”
We hugged, and she seemed a bit more calm as she left.
We had since had family dinners and everything appeared okay.
So, now, here we were… snowed in, and I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or not.
I slid a pair of sweatpants on over my thermals and I headed back downstairs.
Steven was sitting at the breakfast nook on his laptop with a cup of hot chocolate.
“Hey you.” I said sitting down beside him, looking at his screen.
He slid the second cup over to me, “hey… nice and hot.”
A chill ran up my spine as I looked at the locked file on his desktop. It was labeled SIL, and it had a little padlock emblem on it.
“What’s that?” I asked pointing at the file.
He shifted uncomfortably, and closed his laptop. “Just work stuff.”
“Yeah..” I said sheepishly. I breathed hard. “Everything okay with you and Jane, sweetheart?” I said it… or better yet asked it.
“Mom…”
He stopped and turned away. I could tell that he was upset and wanted-needed to talk about it.
I put my hand on his back and rubbed, “Sweetie…”
He let out a grunt or gasp.
“Not really. I don’t know…” he paused and I waited. “She’s…” he was looking for the right words.
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