*Why? We talk about everything.*
*Okay mom. What do you want to know?*
What did I want to know? It was my turn to be silent with him. I heard him go into his room as I thought. Biting my lip, I looked over to one of my stuffed animals. He was a big, fluffy, white rabbit in a pair of overalls named Mr. Bumbles.
“What do I want to know Mr. Bumbles?” I asked. He didn’t answer, but I stared into his glass eyes. She then got the idea to ask about his teacher.
*Why your teacher?*
*Because she is sexy and I like older women.*
*Why?*
*They have experience.*
*How do you know?*
Heat rose in my cheeks as I blatantly asked my son about his sexual experience.
There was no reply.
*You won’t get in trouble.*
The words made me feel better and a little disgusted. I knew by his lack of answer that some older woman somewhere had taken my son’s virginity. He had sex and probably enjoyed it.
*I know because the first woman I ever saw naked was you. After that, I did some research online and found that older women just do it better*
*When did you see me naked?*
Again, there was a break in reply. This time though, I watched as the typing icon danced on the screen.
*I’ve caught glimpses of you now and then in your bedroom. Not that I want to be a peeking Tom, but you’ve left the door cracked open. Sometimes when I come by to talk, you’re naked.*
*So you just look at me?*
*A few seconds before knocking.*
I didn’t know how I felt about that.
*Why?*
*At first it was just to see a woman naked, then it was just to see you naked.*
I wanted to ask if he thought I was attractive, but reserved myself. There was a flutter of perverse excitement within me, so I distracted myself by asking him the most direct question I could. ]
*Are you a virgin?*
*Mom! What the hell?*
*?*
*Yes.*
*So you watched me because you were a virgin?*
*Mom…yes.*
Did he have the hots for me? The thought sent chills through my body and created a feeling of floating in my stomach I had never felt before. Questions ran rampant, but the most pertinent involved questions how taboo it was for him to be look at me. Then it sunk in that my son may actually have the hots for me. With his comment about older women, it flattered me. Why didn’t it disgust me?
*Am I hot?*
There was no reply. Instead, she heard what sounded like a groan of frustration reverberate throughout the house. That question had been over the line. Instead of waiting for a reply, I put the phone down. Nervous and feeling weird, I got up and went to the bathroom.
My bathroom wasn’t much better than the bedroom. Inside, it mimicked the sanctuary in that it was filled with cutesy things all meant to help me stay calm. Honestly, if anyone saw the loli wallpaper I had they would have recommended me for a psych ward.
Not that I wouldn’t deserve it. I probably did with the aversions and now the thoughts racing in my mind about my son. After using the loo, I headed back to the bed and saw that Mike had responded.
*When is dinner?*
Looking at the clock, I saw that it was getting close to five.