Word of Mouth

“Were there many guys?” I asked quietly.

Kelly shook her head emphatically. “No, only you. It’s funny: She claimed she wanted to sleep around a bit but she never did. Meeting you screwed that up, but in a good way. How did you hear about Nico’s passing?”

I stared down at my hands, shook my head and sighed. “She sent me a video.”

“She wanted to write you but couldn’t hold a pen. I offered to write it for her, like dictation, but she said it was only for you.” Kelly hooked an errant lock of hair behind her ear. “So I suggested she record a video. Nico liked the idea that she could speak directly to you but hated that you would be able to see what she was going through.”

“Actually, seeing that made me understand where she was coming from,” I admitted. “It somehow made it more real. Were you with her at the end?”

Kelly nodded. “I saw her about a week before she died. It was so hard saying goodbye to her, not knowing if I was going to see her again.”

I asked the question that had been gnawing at me the past couple of weeks. “The Nico in the video seemed very different from the Nico I knew. Which one is the real her?”

Kelly exhaled slowly and looked around. “I would have to say both complete the picture. The Nico you saw in the video is likely the Nicole I knew our first year at school. She was funny and smart but modest and reserved when it came to guys. Nicole was interested in guys and guys were interested in her but she never dated or hooked up with anyone. That spring she started getting these blinding headaches and would have fits of swearing, as if she had developed Tourette’s. That’s when the tumor was found. She also became impulsive, getting tattoos and piercings over the summer. When Nico came back the following fall she was a different person, much more grim.”

“Knowing you’re going to die soon will do that to a person,” I offered.

“True, but it was more than that. I honestly think the tumor pressing on her brain changed her personality. She said horrible and wildly inappropriate things at times. She had dyed her hair and changed how she dressed and wanted to be called ‘Nico.’ I was afraid she was becoming more violent and bent on self-destruction. Maybe the piercings and the tattoos were an outlet for that.” Kelly paused and shook her head. “I feared I was going to lose her even before she died. But then the most amazing thing happened.” Kelly looked at me and smiled. “She met you and that somehow righted her ship. The old Nicole would come out after she had seen you and when she talked about you.”

“How much did she tell you?”

“A lot. She told me about how you’re quiet, caring, considerate, and intelligent, and about your anxiety issues.” Kelly paused and blushed. “Nico also told me about what you did together. I had a boyfriend I was sleeping with but we didn’t do anything like you and Nico did. I was a bit green with envy of you two.”

My anxiety cranked up another notch and part of my mind began counting sidewalk panels. “Did she tell you everything? Did she tell you about her project to get me out into the world?”

Please wait…

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