But even after the children came, we would watch porn together late at night. One evening we were sitting together looking a porn on the internet (we have our HDTV hooked up to the internet) after the kids were in bed and came across some interracial cuckold stuff.
My gosh, all these married white women were giving it up to black men while their husbands watched. Sometimes, even 2 or 3 black men at a time. And their husbands were doing the filming! It was too wild. We looked at a lot of it that night. I thought Dan was into it because after we went to bed that night, we had some of the best sex ever. It was totally mind-blowing. In my mind, all I could see were those black cocks and those married white women in the videos screaming for more. Something happened to me that night and I became obsessed with doing something like that with Dan.
The next day I found when I had alone time, I returned to those same sites and watched while I masturbated myself into a frenzy, 3 or 4 times in one sitting. This became my only fantasy. To be taken and used by a black man. This fantasy had taken possession of my mind and never in my life had I experienced such a loss of self-control. I did it again the next day and the day after. Instead of focusing on Dan and children, I became focused on the idea of how I could convince Dan to make my fantasy real. Dan never denied me anything and knew how crazy I could be. I just needed a plan to make it real. Of course, I wanted Dan there to share it. We were partners. I would never do such a thing behind his back. I couldn’t. I needed Dan’s permission.
My mind became so twisted with my black cock fantasy, I truly believed if we did something like this together, it wouldn’t hurt Dan’s and my relationship. How stupid is that? The ‘sky’s the limit’ type of stupid?
A few nights after viewing those videos together, Dan and I were alone in the living room. I had put out a bottle of wine and we shared some. I asked if he wanted to watch some porn and like a trooper, Dan was all for it. I didn’t want to start off with the interracial porn stuff at first because I was trying to ease my fantasy into the conversation. But I was able to maneuver our viewing back to those websites shortly later.
Dan was leaning back against the couch and while watching the videos, l laid my head on his shoulder, I undid his pants, started masturbating him gently and talking softly in his ear. I told him how hard he was and did he like watching this type of videos. He said he did. I start whispering in his ear, could he imagine us doing something like this. Some black man using me any way he wanted and him filming it for later. Dan turned and looked at me questioning, “Carrie, why are you asking me this? I never thought about sharing you with anyone. Is this something new you would like to try?”
I tried to make it sound like an adventure we could both share. Something new. Something different. We could try it once to see how it was. He would be there and film the whole thing. He would be a part of it.
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