I dated Brie exclusively for the next several months. I heard from friends that she had been as wild as Brenda in her teens, but it seemed that she truly had matured. However, I found out that while she was definitely more “normal” than Brenda, she also was weird in her own way. She was weird in what she bought, what things she liked, and what things she did.
Some of the weird items that were part of her possessions were: She often wore “Ta-Ta Towels” as tops; they’re provocative; you need at least a C cup to wear them, and they turn heads. She usually sleeps on her side and to prevent one boob from smashing the other she uses a specially designed “boob pillow.” Despite the fact that barefoot she’s five feet nine inches tall she almost always wears high heels and typically with “heel condoms” of different colors as a fashion statement. She has limited patience so she uses a “lipstick helper” mask to properly apply her lipstick quickly.
Things that she likes that I can never understand: Having me paint her toenails. Requiring me to watch, but not touch, as she braids her pubic hair (she doesn’t have a jungle bush but it is significant and she is opposed to shaving). Constantly sniffing my neck and hair. Insisting that I give her oral only after we fuck (or make love, as the case may be), not beforehand.
Things that she does that are weird are: Constantly changing her hairstyle and color; in the first six months we were dating she changed the style and/or color at least a dozen times. Taking butt selfies all of the time. Climbing trees, and if fruit or nut trees laughingly throwing projectiles at me when she’s up there. Using a device called a “Kegelmaster” to do Kegel exercisers and talking about that for a half hour if you let her. She loves to exercise and has a few normal routines, like jogging and light weight lifting, but her favorites are weird: naked yoga (THAT I don’t mind), Jukari (utilizing a trapeze-like apparatus that allows participants to swing, fly, spin, jump and, most importantly, tone the body), and water-walking (utilizing a human sized transparent hamster ball to motor across relatively calm bodies of water).
In addition to all of the weirdness described above, her and my relationships with Brenda are also bizarre. By the time that I met Brie, Brenda was married to Tom Postema (though Brenda kept her maiden name). Brie didn’t tell Brenda about her relationship with me until we had been dating about three months because “Brenda still hates you for dumping her and enlisting in the Army to get away from her.” Therefore it was with some apprehension that I showed for a family get-together at the Jenkins household when I knew that Brenda and Tom would be there.
When I got to the Jenkins party Brie introduced me to Tom; “Scott, this is Brenda’s husband Tom; Tom, my boyfriend Scott.” We shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. Tom was good looking, but with a preppy non-athletic appearance. “And of course you know Brenda,” Brie said, pointing to her sister who had her arms crossed; Brenda looked just as good as she had when I enlisted in the Army, in fact better because she was more mature. “Hi Brenda,” I said with a smile.