“Excuse me?”
“I’m not disgusted at all.”
“I appreciate that,” she replied thoughtfully. “Even though you don’t mean it.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because of the way you looked at my bed.”
For some reason, I felt a strong desire to comfort my mother in her moment of self-loathing over her beautiful bodily functions. The best way was the truth.
“Honestly, I think it’s hot.”
Her eyes widened in surprise of my candor. My mother’s defensive mode was in full effect as she sharpened her gaze.
“I really don’t know what’s gotten into you this morning,” she said. “First you pick up my vibrator, now this? Just because you saw something personal of mine doesn’t give you the right to make whatever inappropriate comment you want towards me.”
“I wasn’t trying to offend you. I was trying to make you feel better because of how embarrassed you look. I really do think it’s hot.”
She squinted her eyes, analyzing my comments to see if they were genuine or not. She even used her ‘mom-radar’ too. It’s something that’s never failed her.
Her maternal instincts gave her a clear answer, and she let her guard down and almost looked apologetic over her accusations.
She smiled. “Well it’s good to know that there are still some men out there who actually appreciate my talent. Some of the men I’ve dated had run for hills when they first encountered it.”
“That’s too bad. Seriously, I think it’s an amazing attribute that more people should enjoy watching.”
“Are you referring to yourself?” she said with a skeptical look on her face. “That you should watch me?”
I was shocked. “What!? No. That’s not what I meant.”
“So you don’t want to see me do it?”
There was almost a playful look on her face and I had no idea how to deal with it. I wondered what she planned and what her purpose was.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I’m just curious. You sound like you’ve seen this before. An ex-girlfriend perhaps?”
“No, none of my ex’s could do that.”
“Then porn?” she asked with an eyebrow raised.
I blushed. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Do you watch a lot of porn?”
“Okay, this is getting weird.”
“Imagine how I feel. But fair is fair. You touched my vibrator and saw the stain on my bed. The least you could do is answer a simple question. Do you watch porn where women squirt?”
“I… I’ve seen it online. Sure. There’s not many women who can leave a stain like that, though.”
“No, there isn’t.”
“Why do you ask?”
“I wanted to know if you actually think squirting is hot, or if you were just trying to make me feel better.”
“I meant it.”
She gave me a long, hard stare. It was accompanied with a long pause as she deliberated with herself.
“Do you want to watch?” she finally asked.
“Watch what?”
“Do you want to watch me squirt? It’s been a while since I’ve entertained anyone with my talent, and it might as well be you, since the secret is already out.”
It was a total shock. By the look on her face, and the tone in her voice, she was completely serious about this.
“Really?”
“Yes, really,” she replied.
“But why?”
She took a moment to calculate her words. “Maybe this is a flimsy reason, but why not? We live together and I don’t want this awkwardness to linger. We might as well get this out of your system, right?”