“How long have you felt this way?” She asked knowingly, her gaze softening to show her concern.
Still I couldn’t move or speak. I was transfixed by the surrealness of the situation. My mother was looking at me from over my exposed and very erect penis, asking me how long I had lusted after her.
Neither of us had thought to put my penis away adding to the lured spectacle. The thought of my mother touching my bare penis as she put it away came unbidden to my mind and my penis throbbed in anticipation. My mother’s gaze returned to my erection and stayed there.
Not removing her gaze from my member she volunteered, “I have seen you staring at me when you thought I wasn’t looking. I have sensed the effect that I have had on you lately. How long have you felt this way about me?”
I tried desperately to think of a lie that would shield me from her question. I could think of nothing plausible. All of the tension, all of the anxiety, all of the unrequited yearning for her reached a crescendo in that moment and I forced out, “I don’t know”. There it was, I was exposed both literally and figuratively. She looked up into my eyes slowly and held my gaze with her piercingly beautiful gaze.
“What is it that you think you feel for me?” She enquired quietly.
“I’m in love with you,” I admitted timidly looking away from that stare.
She reached up and drew my chin around so that I looked her in the eyes again and asked, “are you sure you really love me like that? It is a normal phase that many young men go through.”
“I’m not infatuated with you, I’m in love with you!” I responded tersely and looked away again. My mother reached up and gently moved my face back to look at her.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t belittling what you feel, I just want to understand. You are a gorgeous young man and I am flattered by the attention, especially since there haven’t been a long line of suiters since your father left.”
“Are you kidding Mum?” I blurted out in frustration. “You could have anyone you want, period. You are stunning. I see the way that men look at you. Why haven’t you been on a date in the 3 years since Dad left?” I challenged her.
“Because I have a man in my life and I am content to be with him.” She replied.
“But you have needs. Haven’t you wanted to be with someone?” I continued.
“Of course. It has been difficult at times,” she said as she looked away into space, “but I didn’t want anything to come between us”.
“I am sorry Mum, I had no idea. I truly love you. I would have given anything to be the one to shelter and protect you and give you all that you need,” I professed, “I’m sorry that I have kept you from having that in your life”.
“You haven’t.” She corrected. “I made my own choices and you are the love of my life”. “What about you? I haven’t seen you bringing any girls home. Am I the reason?”
“Yes,” I confessed.
“Then you have never been with a girl?” She continued.
“No,” was my weak response.
She stared at me for a long time unblinkingly. Her face partly hidden in shadow, lit occasionally by the TV showing something that I couldn’t quite make out in the dim light.