Simon grinned too. “He made us agree when we got serious about you that we wouldn’t break up the band. Now he’s the first one out the door. If you’d told me at the beginning of all this that it didn’t end with him proposing to you, I’d have called you nuts.”
“I think he wants what he can’t have,” Emilia said. She glanced at Simon and then away again. “I hope Landon doesn’t kill him.”
“Me too. And Jaxton leaves soon for training,” he said, pretending like he hadn’t noticed.
She reached down instinctively and brushed her sore sex. “He came by today to say goodbye.”
“Ah,” Simon said, smiling more faintly now.
“Which leaves you,” Emilia said softly. “When do you go back? That’s what you’re here to tell me, isn’t it?”
“A few weeks yet.” He shrugged. “I’m in no rush.”
“Good,” she whispered, and reached out to take his hand.
“Emilia… are you going to be okay here? With Rosie? You could come with me. If you want.”
She squeezed his hand, and let it go. “We both know long-term that’s not healthy for either of us. You need to go live your life.”
“That wasn’t really an answer.”
“I don’t know,” Emilia admitted. “I like Rosie. But I’m also thirteen years older than her. Is she going to get bored of me? Am I going to get bored of her?” She shrugged. “After this summer, I don’t really know who I am anymore. And that’s okay. It’s… hm. Painful. But it’s okay. I’ll promise you one thing. I’ll come visit. Maybe around the holidays we’ll do something. “
“That would be great. I…” Simon gulped at his tea, obviously trying to find the words.
“If you’re going to try and apologize, don’t,” Emilia said. “I was going to leave Jim. I know that now in my heart. Maybe not with the, um, flourishes, but you boys helped me get past the obvious. Coming to grips with that, it’s been scary. Life-altering. But it’s the first time in a long, long time I’ve felt like I can go anywhere. Do anything. I can decide who I want to be. Who I want to be with. I didn’t know how important all that was, but it is important. I’m never going to be tied down again. Maybe that makes me horrible. Maybe not. But we are who we are, right?”
Simon stared out at the sunset, slowly fading into oranges and pinks. “Yes. We are who we are.”
Emilia settled back in her chair, cupping her tea in both hands. She shook her head. “What a strange summer.”