Her breathing seemed deep and regular, and she didn’t move as I entered. I took those as good signs. With any luck I could get in and out without her even knowing I was there. All I had to do was locate the laptop, despite not being entirely certain it was even in her room to begin with.
A son, a mother, and a mutual desire, Love of a mother
I started looking from as far away as possible, and only slowly sidling closer to Mom’s bed. If it was anywhere, it would probably be obvious and on top of something. I didn’t remember seeing it on her bed or nightstand when I’d brought her in earlier, and I wasn’t sure where else that left.
Mom shifted slightly in her bed. I froze in place as though that would somehow help me if she had awakened. Fortunately, she seemed to still be asleep. Her covers had been pushed down almost to her waist at some point. Even in the dark I could make out the curve of her breasts. I was growing to hate the bizarre fixation I had with them lately.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally spotted the laptop. It was on the floor beside the bed, which was why I hadn’t seen it at first. I had to sneak even closer to Mom to get to it, but I was almost home free and was feeling relieved that it was almost over.
Mom’s mattress creaked, and once again I froze in place. This time I somehow knew that I wasn’t going to be as lucky.
“Sorry to wake you,” I whispered, hoping she couldn’t see what I’d picked up off of the floor as I stood up.
“Mmggh. What time is it?” Mom mumbled sleepily.
“Late. Middle of the night. Just had to get something.”
Mom frowned and peered closer at the laptop that I was desperately trying to hold behind my body in a nonchalant manner. Her expression abruptly changed as she realized what I had in my hand.
“Oh,” she said. “Guess I shouldn’t have had it in here, huh?”
“That’s okay,” I said. “I just, uh… wanted to check something.”
It was so hard to tell what she was thinking when I couldn’t see her face all that well. Her voice wasn’t giving me very many clues either.
“You should really have your own computer,” Mom said. “I keep thinking about it, but… I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem to happen.”
“Well, they are expensive. It’s not like I really need my own.”
“But it’d be easier,” Mom said softly. “Wouldn’t it?”
“What?”
“Sweetie… I’ve tried very hard not to ever talk about this sort of thing, but I hate that you think you have to sneak around so much. I can’t help feeling like I’m holding back your development somehow. You can have the laptop anytime you want it. I promise I won’t check what sites you’ve been on or anything.”
I blushed fiercely, but at least it wasn’t as obvious in the darkened room as it would have under normal lighting.
“I… it’s not… I just wanted…”
“Please don’t be upset. That’s not what I want.”
“Well I don’t know what else to be.”
I felt alone and trapped, even though I was neither of those things. I wanted to throw the laptop down and get out of the room as fast as possible, but I couldn’t seem to make myself move.
“Come here, honey,” Mom said, holding out her hand to me.