For the first time in my life, I was seeing mom’s naughty and mischievous side. It was a side she so desperately tried to suppress, in her bid to be the pillar of the community. But at least she had good reason. This guy was a jerk to my mom and he didn’t deserve her.
“How risque are you talking about?” I asked. “You know how jealous ex-boyfriends can be. He could put these pictures online or something.”
“First of all,” she said. “He’d never do that, because he’s sent me plenty of pictures of his penis over the past few months. Many of which have his face attached. If he ever leaked my pics, then he knows that his nude pics are going global.”
I suddenly tensed at the awkward admission that my mother was in possession of a guy’s nude pics.
She smiled with a hint of embarrassment. “Sorry, too much information.”
“It’s okay. What’s the other reason? You said ‘first of all,’ which usually implies there’s a second reason.”
“Secondly, neither of our faces will be attached to these pics. They’ll be vague selfies of my body parts, which can’t be used to identify me. Just close ups. Perhaps naughty ones.”
I gulped. “Really? Are you sure you want to do that with me?”
“It’s extremely awkward, I know. And I apologize for putting you in this horrible position of pretending to be my new boyfriend. But if we don’t stop him from coming over, there’s going to be a huge dramatic scene and our party will be ruined. You’re the only co… umm, I mean… you’re the only guy available at the moment who I can trust with something like this.”
“Wait, what were you about to say? Before you stammered.”
She blushed. “Nothing. So are you interested or not?”
Before I could answer, she had gotten a slew of new text messages which caused her to gasp.
“Darn it,” mom cursed. “He says he’ll be here in two hours after he takes care of an errand for his work. Most of our guests will be here by then. If we’re going to stop him, then it has to be now, and it has to be something that will get him to leave me alone forever. I’m tired of having my heart broken.”
“The plan makes sense. You can count me in. You deserve the best and this guy is a creep. I’ll do anything you need.”
She paused for a moment before raising an eyebrow. “Anything?”
“Yes, well, anything within reason.”
“I think I have an idea. I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it.”
“Tell me, and I’ll let you know. Go ahead, you can suggest anything. I’m curious to what a proper lady like you has planned for revenge.”
“Maybe I’m not as proper as you think,” she replied. “Women are allowed to have a secret side.”
“Now I have to know. What’s your plan?”
She took a deep breath. “Well, I think we should send him a more explicit picture so he fully gets the message. Just so you know, he really loves cumming on my chest after a blowjob. So maybe I can offer you something that would make us both happy.”
I froze in utter shock, completely speechless with my jaw dropped. Mom seemed mildly embarrassed and amused by my reaction.
“Seriously?” I asked.
She nodded. “It’s only a suggestion. If you agree to this emergency plan, then I’ll take my top off, and you masturbate until you orgasm. Once you finish on my chest, I’ll take a selfie of my stained breasts and send it to him, explaining that my new-and-improved boyfriend is already taking care of me. Does that sound like something you would be interested in doing? I know it’s awful, but it’ll save the party.”