I knew that wasn’t entirely fair. After all, Esther had saved my life, and she’d put her own life on the line to do so. Still, she wouldn’t have done that if she hadn’t thought I could help her.
All in all, I was tired of being used, tired of being stuck in a marriage with a cheating wife, and tired of holding a job where I wasn’t appreciated. I felt a growing urge to get away, to leave it all behind and start over somewhere far away, somewhere no one had any claims on me. And once I got there, I vowed to put myself first for a change. I’d spent way too much of my life trying to do things for other people; now it was time to do some things for myself.
The old me would have been appalled. “Don’t do anything hasty,” I would have told myself. “You have obligations to others,” I’d have rationalized. Well, screw that! The few times in my life I’d made a big, impulsive decision, things had worked out alright, even if it looked like nobody else would ever know it. Now I was going to make another big decision that felt right for me. If anyone else didn’t like it, screw them.
December 31, the next year
Cheers went up from the other people at the bar as we watched the fireworks explode over the Auckland Harbour Bridge. I smiled to myself: the scene looked exactly like it had on that display in the war room at the NSA a year ago.
I had a lot to celebrate. Basically I had left everything except my computer, a few personal items and a bag of clothing, and I’d bought a one-way ticket to Auckland, New Zealand. I’d chosen Auckland for three reasons: it was as far away as I could get and still speak English, I didn’t know a soul there and didn’t have any obligations to any one, and, yes, I admit it, I’d been blown away by the scenery in The Lord of the Rings movies.
Once again, it turned out I had made a very good decision. I discovered that the people in New Zealand were extremely friendly and welcoming, so I didn’t feel as lonely as I’d expected. I also managed to find a job very quickly. I had come with enough money to tide me over until I could find work, but I fell into a good situation almost immediately. The ANZ Banking Group had had a cyber-security scare just before I arrived, and my experience with computer viruses and malware made me very desirable to them. After I started work I rented a little two-bedroom flat and set about becoming a Kiwi.
Once I had made the big decision to leave, it had taken a lot of work to get everything settled in Maryland. It’s not easy to untangle yourself from old way of life, but I did it. Once I had quit my job, made arrangements to transfer my Thrift Savings Plan, paid my bills, and taken care of all the things I could do in the short term, I gave my lawyer power of attorney to handle the biggest problem of all: Ginny. I told him she could have the house in lieu of alimony, and left him to handle everything else as he thought best.
The only problem was that Ginny didn’t want to accept the inevitable. She refused to cooperate with the divorce process and dragged her feet every way she could think of to slow things down. I’d told my attorney that under no circumstances was he to tell Ginny where I was or how to reach me. All that meant was that she began to badger him, and he in turn was charging me for all the time he spent dealing with her. After awhile it became obvious that I was going to have talk to her, like it or not.
wpDiscuz