At that time, I was twenty-three, mom had turned forty and I got this idea in my head. It started because of all the attention I gave to her nipples. I loved sucking on them and she loved my sucking on them. I did it so much of it that she told me one day that for hours after making love her nipples ached. When I apologized she said, “Oh no baby, I love that feeling. It’s like when you make me sore sometimes from being in me for a long time.” She smiled and said, “It’s like having you at work with me the next day, I feel you, and I think about you.”
The idea had its genesis after the first six months of making love, when I began tasting a sweet fluid from mom’s big nipples. Mom said it couldn’t be, but when we looked it up, we found that a woman doesn’t have to be pregnant to lactate, and that constant stimulation could start it. After that, the sweet juice coming from her nipples gave me ideas. I thought about her having my baby. And then every time I came inside her pussy with my bare flesh inside hers, I had the urge to make her pregnant. Of course I knew that she was taking the pill but I started imagining what it would be like.
Jim and Sandy probably added fuel to the fire by telling us that they had actually tried to have a baby, but they couldn’t get pregnant. And that led to one of our fights. When I first said something about it, she said, “You’re kidding, right?” When I told her I wasn’t, she became anxious about it. She said, “Let’s think about this; I’m not a kid anymore.”
I said, “Mom, you’re young, you’re strong, and you’d be beautiful.” I kissed her and took her tit in my hand. I said, “I can just imagine what your tits and nipples would look like swollen with milk, and your belly carrying our baby.”
She said, “Oh sweetheart, believe me, if I were younger I would love to have your baby, I would be proud to, I mean it love, but I don’t think I could go through all that at this stage of my life. It’s hard, believe me. Listen honey, haven’t things been good with us, don’t you always know how much I love you, don’t I show you?”
I said, “Yes mom.”
She said, “Do you ever want anything from me in bed that I don’t give you?”
I said, “No mom.” It was true there were times when the urge would just strike me. She’d be reading a magazine or something and I’d go up to with a bulge in my pants and before I knew it I was in her mouth. I said, “Okay, forget it.”
“Then let’s not mess up a good thing,” she said. “This would be crazy. We both work; I can’t do it. Just listen to me and let it go. And why are calling me ‘Mom’ all of a sudden?” Since we’d been living together as lovers, I’d almost always called her Paula.
I said, “Maybe because you’re making decisions as if I was your boy again. And maybe it’s because you don’t want to have my baby, maybe you’re ashamed of me, and what we do, and who we are.”
I just ran off at the mouth and mom became livid. She said, “How could you?” She was almost spluttering. “How could you say something like that to me when you know damn well how I feel, and how I show you the way I feel every day. When did I ever give you one reason to doubt me? That’s terrible…my God…” She went from angry to crushed in one moment. The tears rolled down her cheeks and said, “All I do is love you…I’m never ashamed…never…”