“You make such a lovely pair” one of them said to us. Mom blushed, but she was absolutely thrilled.
It was a textbook case of arrested development: Mom’s life had been put on hold at age 18; tonight was her grand ‘push play to resume’ moment. Two awkward emotionally-aged eighteen-year-old innocents relished every minute of the senior prom rite-of-passage.
We skipped the after-prom activities, and went straight home. We got ready to watch movies and settled in on the couch. Mom wore her new cotton robe over what I was pretty sure was her cyan bra and panty. We were on our left sides, Mom a bit lower on the couch. Reaching for the remote to turn on the TV, Mom interrupted and said we first needed to share a special after-prom kiss.
It was really special.
When it was over we both felt more than a little awkward about what we should or should not do for an encore. The TV was on, but neither of us paid much attention to it. Mom smiled, then sighed and rolled face down toward me while I ran my hand more-or-less innocently from her neck to the small of her back. My eyes were closed and I was really lost in the moment when Mom stirred. We both repositioned ourselves; all sense of time and place became irrelevant. The next upward movement of my hand ran it inadvertently over her breast as my fingers instinctively cupped it. She let out a guttural moan and her body shuddered from head to toe. My heart stopped and neither of us breathed for a few seconds. Eyes wide open, I looked at Mom for her reaction. Our eyes locked, but her face gave no clue what she was thinking. Gently, she took the errant hand, brought it to her lips and kissed it.
“It’s alright, Tommy, these things can happen when two people are so close.”
Pondering whether she meant ‘in relationship’ or ‘proximity’, before her words could be completely parsed she rather abruptly said “Good night Tommy.”
After a rather perfunctory kiss, she moved quickly to her room. Sitting on the couch I felt like a total idiot. Alone and dejected I tried to contemplate what had just happened. I heard her crying. Surely I had broken her trust and she was disappointed in me and I anguished over what I should do. Gathering up every ounce of my courage I knocked lightly and opened her bedroom door. She was face down on her bed with a pillow over her head muffling her sobs. Kneeling down at the side of her bed my hand gently caressed the back of her neck.
“Mom, I’m so very sorry. Honestly…”
“Tommy, it’s me who should be sorry, not you. There’s nothing for you to apologize about.”
She pulled the pillow off her head and moved to my side of the bed. Grabbing a tissue I tenderly wiped her swollen eyes. She put her hand behind my neck and pulled me to her, bestowing another special kiss.
“Tommy, I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
“I love you too, Mom. Please don’t cry, please come back and watch the rest of the movie with me.”
She seem conflicted, but then she smiled and said “Alright Tommy, I will. I love you.”
On the couch, spooned in front of me, Mom soon fell asleep. Taking my arm off her long enough to use the remote to turn off the TV, she stirred, and she put her hand over mine. Soon we both were asleep, holding each other close. Neither of us ever brought up the subject of her crying that night.