She replied meekly “Yes Tommy.”
“The… word… S… L… U…T… never… has… and… never… will… apply… to… you… do… you… under… stand?”
Meeker yet she said “Yes Tommy, I understand.”
“You… will… never… EVER… think… of… your… self… that… way… again.”
Her eyes tearing, gasping for breath she whispered “Yes… Tommy… I’ll… do… anything… you… say.”
The words and the look in her eyes told me that the psychic cancer of the ‘S’ word had been excised. The words and the look in her eyes told me Mom was mine for the taking.
You would think this would be a 19-year-old virgin’s wettest dream come true. It was. Loving Mom so very much, it served to crystalize my responsibility to her. Her soul was so fragile and innocent. I didn’t want what she wasn’t completely ready to give. She had been taken against her will some twenty years ago, and never fully recovered. I wanted her to give herself to me without being consumed by guilt.
Looking down upon my beautiful angel I realized I was wrong about Mom being of two parts: she was of three. She was an amalgam of first-love-stricken eighteen-year-old girl; a mother who was solemnly committed to do whatever was best for her son; and a thirty-eight-year-old woman at the peak of her sexuality. The girl was eager for the adventure; the woman had a deep and desperate longing to be fulfilled. Only the mother, mindful of her responsibilities was hesitant – the mother was outnumbered two to one.
Totally in charge now, could I do the right thing? Did I even know what the right thing was? Pulling her close Mom was smothered with hugs and kisses. I simply said “I love you.”
Her eyes told me this was the time she most desperately needed to hear me say it. The excitement and emotion was too much for her. Mom began to cry, soon she was sobbing. Cradled in my arms it was my turn to console her. She could barely get out the words.
“Tommy, when I heard the news report about the helicopter somehow I knew you were on it. Part of me died.”
“I know Mom, I know. We’re together now, that’s all that matters. Shhhh, I love you. It’s all behind us now. I will never leave you. I will love you forever. Shhhh.”
She slowly relaxed and her breathing slowed. Laying her down on the bed while tenderly holding her I whispered “Shhhh. Sleep, my angel, sleep. Let me hold you. I love you. I have always loved you. I will love you forever. Sleep my angel, sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Chapter 7
Thankfully, Mom slept peacefully through the night. The first thing Mom said when she got up was “Tommy, can we go home today?”
“Sounds like a plan, Mom!”
Excited, she got out of bed and called several airlines. Non-stop flights were full; we didn’t want to change planes so we decided to wait one more day.
We did the tourist routine again before returning to our room for our last night in the hotel. We each got ready for bed, me first under the covers wearing only briefs. When Mom got out of the bathroom she was wearing pajamas over her cyan satin panty and bra. From the shampoos, soaps and lotions she smelled like a field of flowers. Mom pulled back the cover and sheets and didn’t hesitate getting into my arms.