“Something happened that made us renew ourselves and get creative. You know how strong a bond your mother and I have, right?”
“Twin power, zygosity, or whatever,” I said. “The feeling that someone is there and you’re connected. Mom and I were just talking about that. And about how I’ve felt a hole not being able to feel another person, being an only child and everything.”
My uncle and aunt looked at each other. I saw Auntie Lee tighten her grip on his arm … hard. She shook her head in a little “no.”
“Only child. Right. That’s true, and your mom has wanted to remedy that for as long as you’ve been alive. Lately, with your leaving soon, it’s been a lot more intense. I could feel it, even when she wasn’t talking to me about it. It just never happened for either one of us.”
“Yeah, she’s been real weepy at times lately. Dad and Mom have tried everything, but I think now she’s run out of options or ideas. And that makes her sad.”
“Your uncle and I had felt the same way,” Auntie Lee said. “We had tried everything that society offers. Everything.”
Uncle Zack took over: “Then we said ‘Fuck society’ and started to think of what else we could do, even if society ignored it, or prohibited it, or condemned you for it. We thought ‘so what?’ So what the fuck what!”
“That’s when we thought of you, Mike,” Auntie Lee said.
She was using “Mike” not “Mikey.”
“That’s when, just when we thought we were out of ideas, we had the best idea possible: you. At first we were unsure, then we were intrigued—then we were excited and knew in our hearts it was the right thing to do.” Auntie Lee’s smile showed she STILL thought it was the right thing to do.
“When I asked you last month, asked you at the birthday party, I thought it was a long shot still. And I respect you enough that if you had said ‘no’—well that would be it. And I would understand. It took a lot of courage. Courage to say ‘yes’ and then courage to actually be able to perform. And you did like a trouper.”
“Uncle Zack, I was so nervous at first. You mean so much to me. You always have. I didn’t want to let you down.” Now comes the part that Auntie Lee coached me to say: “And, at first I was scared having you right there, but then I really felt that that’s where you belonged, and that we were all three of us part of something great—part of something that should be.”
“Mikey, you’re a man. A real man. You didn’t let us down. Not by a long shot. You proved you’re a man. Tell him, Lee.”
Auntie Lee hooked her arm in Uncle Zack’s and looked at me with those green eyes. They were shining, and I noticed for the first time that the shine came from tears about to fall.
“Mike … I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant!” Tears got too big for her eyes and decided to travel down her cheeks. She made a gesture with her finger, outlining a circle that encompassed us all, and she said: “We’re pregnant; we’re going to be parents!”
That’s when she lost it and put both hands over her face and sobbed. “Sorry,” she managed, “I’m just so happy!”
Such a different reaction from the giddy, intoxicated way she told me. The importance of becoming a mother and the relief of finally having it happen must have made their way into her emotions. Looking at that extreme joy she was feeling made me feel the same, but also made me sad Mom couldn’t find a way to experience this liberation of spirit.