My parting shot was: “That doesn’t make me not wonder what you look like naked, like I have a hundred times already this year.”
As I closed the outside door, she called out: “I’m telling Lori what you said … and your mother!”
Great. This was going to be an interesting twenty-four hours.
***************************
The next morning, Uncle Zack called Mom and told her he was picking me up for lunch and then we were going to throw the ball around a little. She thought that was a great idea, a nephew and uncle getting some guy time in before he leaves for college.
“And,” Mom said, “I got a call from Lori’s mother.”
Uh-oh!
“She said Lori got upset yesterday when you two argued and she’s being impossible. And she refuses to call you. So, could you be the bigger person and call Lori?”
“That was it?”
“It what?” Mom asked.
“Was that all Mrs. Branch said?”
“Pretty much. Some stuff about the party. Polite remarks. You know her.”
I guess I didn’t quite know her.
“Thanks, Mom.”
I called Lori and after I did a little groveling (way less than usual) we were back together again. Someone sang once that breaking up is tough. It was, even though it was the right thing to eventually do. I ended our conversation with:
“And what did your mother say?”
“About what?”
“About me,” I said. I got the distinct feeling Mrs. Branch had kept our dustup private.
“Oh, she said she bet you’d call. She was in a weird mood. Kinda helpful.”
***************************
“Ready for the big day?” Uncle Zack asked, a big smile shooting towards the windshield as he drove us to his house.
“I’m real nervous,” I said. You would have thought I’d be all excited to try and make a baby the old-fashioned way with my gorgeous aunt. But: it was my aunt, we were making a baby—and Uncle Zack was going to be watching. That’s a formula for nervous in any religion.
“Natural, I guess. I’ve never been nervous fucking. Especially beautiful women. Now, an ugly woman, you may be nervous at first, but, once you get her warmed up, she’ll fuck you longer, harder, with more energy, and with more gratitude and explosive cum power than any gorgeous woman can muster. Remember that.”
“Good to know,” I said. If this was a pep talk, it wasn’t working … much.
“Your aunt is nervous too. It’s been a long time for her, a long time since she was with another man and she really hates having to do this because she’s so faithful to me. But, she knows it’s for the best reason possible, and that it’ll be over fast. It’ll be over fast, right? I mean: plop, plop, fizz, fizz—in and out and leave the gizz!”
He laughed and poked me with his elbow. I gave an unconvincing fake laugh.
All of a sudden, he looked concerned. “This isn’t your first time, is it? I wouldn’t want this to be taking your virginity. Wait, on second thought, why would that be so bad?”
“Not my first time,” I said sullenly. I hadn’t got close to doing it with Lori, even after a whole year. Debbie (my previous girlfriend) and I got about halfway in when her parents showed back up at home when they were supposed to be out all evening. I wore that damned rubber for an hour before I said goodnight to them all. So I had made my way into a pussy, a little, but had never cum inside a pussy. So technically I was only a little bit a virgin still.