“You want to tell me anything? Like who the father is?”
She shook her head. “I want to. I need to. I ache to—but I can’t.”
“Gail, you know we tell each other everything. You know I—”
“Not this. I shouldn’t have even told you this much. I wish I had been strong enough to handle this myself. I wish … I wish so many things now. Now that it’s too late.”
“It’s not too late. You have me to share this with now. We’ll get through it. But, first I need some information so we can sort this out. Gail, tell me who the father is.”
She made a pained face and shook her head “no.”
I knew Gail better than anyone on the planet. I knew unless she had been forced, it had to be someone she knew and trusted.
“Was it rape?”
Her eyes got wide again: “NO! That would at least make it easier in some ways. I could at least be angry with someone else—and not just myself!” More tears.
I waited, and then asked, “Is it someone I know?”
Again, her eyes strained to pop, this time accompanied by her mouth working open and closed, but with no sounds audible.
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes,'” I said.
She nodded ‘yes’ and lowered her head. “How could I …? How could I be so damned stupid?”
“Does the father know yet?”
“NO WAY! NEVER!”
“Don’t you think he should? Don’t you think he should take responsibility?”
“You don’t understand, Cyndy. It’s all on me; it’s all my fault. I should have know better. It’s all MY responsibility!”
Another knock on the door, a real loud one made us jump. It was Vance’s high voice:
“Hey! Stop the gabfest in there! Gail—let’s get goin’! Chop! Chop! Tout suite! I’ll be in the car!”
“Nice,” Gail whispered. She got up and looked in the mirror, sighed, and wiped her eyes dry. She made for the door, but I grabbed her wrist—tight.
“Gail—”
“Let me go!” She twisted and struggled, but I was stronger than her. Always have been. She couldn’t break free. This made her frustrations and anger come to a head.
“Gail, you’re not leaving here until—”
“Yeah—until! So, you want to know? You REALLY want to know! It’s DOUG! It’s DOUG! Your SON got me pregnant!”
*******************************
I pulled into Gail’s driveway and rested my head on the steering wheel. I wondered if I would pass out right there.
I hadn’t slept all night. I had studied the ceiling instead. But, I really never saw anything. All I did was go over our conversation again and again. I wasn’t even sure any more that I had heard her right.
Could it be true? My best friend? My best friend all my life? The Godmother of my only child? My son? Could he? Could she?
It seemed impossible.
But here I was. I had called earlier and said, “We gotta talk.” She had just said “Nine thirty after Vance leaves” then hung up before I could ask a million questions. The million out of the ten million I had.
I could barely look at Doug. I did out of the corner of my eye and tried to disbelieve that he could be a father at his tender age. The father of my best friend’s baby.
He must have sensed something was different. It was almost like he avoided me for the rest of the night, and our only interactions were one-word questions and answers for the most part. Quite a departure from our usual joking and playful physical contact.