Stephen was becoming curious despite himself. “So what are you, then?”
“I’m a Dom. Now, not everyone is a sub or a Dom. In fact most people are not. But you, my friend, are.”
“Hey, you know I’m not gay!” Stephen protested, not really following Jack’s intent.
“Calm, Bro! Doms and subs aren’t just for the gays. Hets enjoy the BDSM too.”
Stephen realized he’d heard of that before. Those letters were often on the porn he liked most. But he always thought of porn as fantasy. It was all play-acting wasn’t it? Especially the spanking scenes he liked so much. He’d often thought about spanking a girl, but had never done it. He was sure he’d be arrested for sexual assault.
“Okay, so what are you saying?”
“You’re a Dom, like me. That means you’re never gonna be satisfied with the kinda girls you’re always with. Those girls want servants, not boyfriends!”
Stephen recognized the truth of that. “Well, Mr. Expert, what kind of girl is gonna satisfy me?”
“A sub. Subs are special. They may seem old-fashioned in some ways.” Jack thought about what he wanted to say to get Stephen thinking about his mother.
“Submission is willing, first of all. It is service the sub performs from a place of affection and adoration. It is making the coffee exactly the way you want it, even if the sub doesn’t like it that way, and having it ready for you before you can even ask.”
As Jack talked, Stephen’s thoughts kept returning to his mother. The way she always brought them cookies when they studied. He smiled at the thought. Stephen tried to think about everything Jack had told him, without thinking of his mother.
He said, “So it sounds like the Dom has a pretty sweet deal. Someone to act like a servant, plus sex too….”
Jack protested, “No, no! It’s not one-sided at all! The Dom has to learn the needs and desires of his sub and to provide them. He must be completely trustworthy, too. He has to be someone the sub respects enough to want to submit to.”
Stephen thought of his dad and the way his mom didn’t seem to get much out of their relationship. I’m not like that, he protested to himself, even as he chided himself for circling back around to his mom.
“That doesn’t sound like Dad at all.”
Jack laughed mirthlessly. “I never said your dad was a Dom. He’s just a self-centered jerk. He doesn’t give your mom what she needs.” But you could, Jack thought. Maybe it’s too soon to say it, though.
But I could, Stephen thought. That thought was immediately followed with self-recrimination. I’m not supposed to be thinking of my mother like this! He hated himself for the way his thoughts kept spiraling back to his mother.
Stephen scrubbed his hands through his hair in frustration. He threw out the first thing he could think of to say. “Hey, what about the spanking? When do we get to the part about the spanking?”
Jack laughed. “The spanking shouldn’t happen until there’s trust. Seriously, Man; I mean it.”
“Okay, I get it.”
Jack left soon after, leaving the names of some books and websites for Stephen to look at.
Stephen spent much of his spare time reading, after that. He read everything Jack suggested and more. The more he read the more he understood himself–and his mom. His thoughts never strayed far from his mother. He began to see that she has always been his sub, to a degree. And now, he decided, it was only fair for him to meet her needs just as she had been meeting his all along.
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