I hope this answers your questions, and as it should go without saying, I miss you, too! It ‘ s hard being without you.
Love,
Your Garrett
“I waited a few days before I mailed it, and as soon as I put it in the mailbox, I knew something had begun that I could not undo; not that I wanted to. There were only two ways this could go, and despite my best efforts, I wished they would go the way I had been thinking. She could, however, dismiss my thoughts as boyhood fantasies that I’d have certainly outgrown. In that instance, I would have to internalize my thoughts forever and never bring it up again. At that time, I would have spent six or seven years developing this uncanny love for my mother that I would have to put on the back burner. It would not have been easy.
“The phone calls continued and transpired as they always had. She never mentioned the letters, nor did her tone or attitude towards me change. Enough time had gone by that I knew she had received my response, and nothing changed. At least there was no outrage to my admission, though I never had reason to believe there would be. It was a week, before I received Mother’s response.”
My Love,
I miss you so! I enjoyed your response and will treasure your handwritten letter. Did you know that was only the second time you ‘ ve written a letter to me? I still have the first one, where you asked me to have snacks and a talk later that evening. Do you remember the conversation we had? I do. You asked me about sex, and we talked for hours about it. You ‘ re a man now, love. Tell me your thoughts. Don ‘ t let barriers form between us. I enjoyed many years of open communication between us, and I don ‘ t want that to stop now.
Love,
Your Mother
“I felt like the letter was hurried to a close. It felt like there was more that should have been said. I felt like a prisoner walking the plank and I was about to take another step towards the deep.
“It was weeks before I worked up the courage to respond to her letter. In that time, I noted a slight change in how Mother talked to me on the phone. It was the noted change that drove me to write what I did.”
My Dearest Mother,
Whether I ‘ m perceived as a monster by you or anyone else, it will be something I have to deal with, because I choose not to eliminate the availability of completely open and honest communication.
When my childish feelings began to change into those that adults have, I realized it was a normal alteration of my being. What wasn ‘ t normal was my carnal attraction to you. It developed over several years and never waned.
To answer your first question, I never told you about it because I know it ‘ s abnormal, but also that I didn ‘ t fully understand it. I still don ‘ t. I admit all this to you and eagerly await your response.
Love always,
Your Garrett
“I took great care in admitting my thoughts, but not going into much detail. I had a lot of detail to tell, but wanted to ensure we were on the same page before I did so. My relationship with Mother was paramount to my being, and I was not going to do anything to jeopardize it if I could help it. That said, I waited impatiently for the lettered reply. Until then, we carried on our phone conversations without a hint of the letters.