And it wasn’t that I was a sex-starved kid. You know the guy in high school that you didn’t think was that good looking, but ended up going out with a lot of the better looking girls? That would be me. It didn’t hurt that I played bass and sang with the band that did the local gigs. I’d even had a couple of older women thrown into the mix. Maybe some of the attraction to mom had to do with the fact that the sex was better with the older women.
So I stood there as she slept, hard, wanting to fuck her, thinking, ‘what the hell is wrong with you? Aren’t there enough women out there?’ It was at that moment that mom turned and said, “Oh hi Danny, I didn’t hear you come in, what time is it?” She didn’t pull her skirt down and I was glad the book was in front of my tented pants.
“It’s about five mom,” I said. “I just got in this minute, sorry I woke you; I know you worked late last night.”
“That’s okay honey, I have to start dinner.” She got up and kissed me on the cheek and I made sure the book stayed between us. So I’m not telling you this because it was so unusual, but because that was the kind of stuff that was happening to me all the time.
Now I might have thought that with my attraction to my mother and older women, Mrs. Kopecki might have turned me on. She sure had the tits for it. She wasn’t a porn star, but she was nice looking and kept herself very well. Maybe because Red was my friend, there was no sexual attraction for me.
Red and I spent so much time together it was hard to keep secrets. If you ever had a ‘Best’ friend you know what I mean. We used to ride our bikes to Silver Lake, which was more like a pond, and sit at the edge of the water and talk. He was the first one I ever told about my feelings. I probably would never have said anything if he didn’t tell me about him and Mary first.
Mary’s his sister, who’s older by a year. He still loves her. Even though he never said those words then, and he wouldn’t say them now, it’s so painfully clear. It started with some kissing and what I inferred was some harmless playing ‘Doctor’ when they were young. But all he ever wanted to talk about was Mary, where she went, what she did, how she looked.
For Mary, the thing with Red was a short episode of fooling, kissing, and trying her newfound power of feminine attractiveness on for size. For Red it was too much more. When she quickly moved on to other boys and other things, Red was left behind, tied in an emotional knot. Not that he didn’t go out and get involved with other girls, but I only had to see Mary and Red in the same room to know that he might never get over her.
What I saw in Red was something of what I saw in me, and what it told me was that I wasn’t the only one in the world who could feel something for someone they weren’t supposed to. When I told Red that I had a thing for my mom, I wouldn’t say he wasn’t surprised, but it wasn’t that big a deal to him. He knew where I was coming from. So I could tell him what I saw and what I felt, and then the same incident could stimulate me, all over again.