I didn’t know how to handle that night anymore and I finally spoke to my oldest daughter telling her of my unthinkable thoughts and even hinted at my shadowy urges to carry them out with Adam. Jenna said, “Mom, why him…don’t you think he’s probably like all men…just looking for a quick screw and then the hell with you? And he’s your son…Jesus…you’re losing it…you can’t…it’s not right to do something that everyone says is wrong…just because you have desires.
I wasn’t sure if she was talking about me or talking about herself. I said, “Why not…it is love isn’t it…do you think it’s so easy to find?”
She got a little flustered and said, “well…I don’t know…you just shouldn’t.” It got a little hot and I figured there was no place for the discussion to go because we were both having trouble separating reason and emotion so I just said, I guess you’re right honey” and left it at that, even though I was anything but settled.
When I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw, I decided to start exercising to get rid of a few extra pounds and put what was left back into the shape I once had. After a few months the work I put in became evident on my body. I was so proud of myself. I wanted to show off for someone.
Adam came over one day and he was telling me about his activities and watching me as I finished the dishes. I turned to him and lifted my tee shirt up to expose my slimmer belly. “Look honey isn’t this good…God what a difference…and it’s so much firmer…come feel it.” He came to me and put his hand on my belly.
It felt nice. I hadn’t had a man touch me in months and for me that was a record. Masturbation kept me in check but it wasn’t the same. Adam said “It’s great mom, but you don’t need to do any more…you feel great. He surveyed my belly with the flat of his and then unexpectedly his hand moved up high enough to make contact with the rounded bottoms of my breasts. My blood started to simmer. I figured he would move his hand down and I didn’t say anything. I felt the springy nipple tingle as his hand kept brushing up to my breasts and he said, “You feel good mom.”
My breathing became audible and I was surprised to hear myself say, “Oh…thank you honey.” It was a strange conversation for a son to be having with his mother but as long as we talked he was fondling me. I waited a few second and said all flustered. “Oh honey …I have so many errands to run…if I don’t get started…” I got up and kissed him on the cheek and said, “I’ll talk to you soon hon.”
When I returned to the empty house after shopping, my juices started to flow. Late that night I called Adam and told him I was coming over; I didn’t ask him. He was a bit surprised and hesitant and then said, “Okay mom, sure…just give me an hour to get cleaned up. When I arrived the place was in some semblance of order and I just imagined what it looked like before I called. We sat and the discomfort he had in my presence of late surfaced. He said, “So what’s up?”
“What’s up? Does something have to be up for a mother to visit her only son?”