It felt like a sermon. Everything he was saying resonated with me. I desired to have sex with my mother, but I did not want the affect of it. Of course I didn’t tell him about what I wanted to do, but I did get what I needed from him. His mindset. I needed to think conceptually to succeed, and that’s what I gathered today. So bye at the end of the trip. I went back home, and I started to unfold my plan. It would take time, but it would be full proof and safe.
Chapter 11 – Research –
On Christmas break, I took the time to research everything I needed to know about drugs and anatomy. I knew learning was the first step before anything, so I spent hours looking up these things: How sleeping medicine works, how anesthesia works, how it reacts with people, and specific models. I won’t share their exact names as it would breach my privacy but… There were the average pill forms, liquid cap bottle medicine, and strong anesthesia that was approved for safety. It took sometime but with a little work, I found websites that could order and deliver these items. Most of it was on amazon but some on other sites. I didn’t want to order the strongest items yet as I wanted to test other things out first, but… I did order some condoms, regular sleeping pills and liquid medicine, and female viagra which we’ll get to later.
When it arrived, I tried the sleeping pills on myself that same day. I wanted to simulate what I would do to my mother, so I took it around 7:00 pm and fought to stay awake. It did a good job in making me want to go to sleep, but I still had to initiate it. However, I found that I didn’t wake up at all in the middle of the night. I tried the same thing with the liquid medicine, this time asking my mother to wake me up at 6:00 am physically using the excuse that my phone alarm might not work. But, I didn’t tell her about the pills obviously. When the time came I woke up immediately, but was pretty drowsy. The liquid medicine and the pills seemed to work the same as it made me very tired and kept me asleep. The next couple of nights, I played around with the doses. I found that 15mg – 25mg or an equal amount in milliliters was enough to make someone feel tired to where they need to go to bed. It wouldn’t be too obvious as to make someone think they were drugged, but enough to knock me out for a long time.
I also made it a priority to read about the safety of these things. I could mix the sleeping pills with the anesthesia but minimize the amount of sleeping pills and use the correct amount of anesthesia. This was very complex but I took the time to understand it better. Get this, when sleep, a person has their initiation where they first close their eyes to go to sleep; their rising action putting them into full sleep; And their apex, which is deep sleep. Picture a mountain going up to the top but staying there up till someone wakes up, that is the measure of how deep someone is in their sleep. No one is aware of when they’re going to wake up, they just all of a sudden wake up.
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