“But baby, I’m just playin’. I got needs, ya know. She don’t mean nothin’ to me. I just need a little somethin’ somethin’ on the side while I’m on the road. You gotta know that.” Asshole was whining and wheedling. Dumbfuck didn’t belong on the Dodgers now, as far as I was concerned.
“Well, Darius, we are done now.” She said with iron in her voice. “I’ll have the shit you left here sent back to your place in L.A. I don’t want to see you, hear from you, or anything. Ya feel me?”
“But baby…” He started, sounding desperate.
“Nuh uh. You lost the right to call me baby when you sucked face with that ho on National Television. I don’t play that shit! We are done. D-O-N-E. Finished. F-I-N-I-S-H-E-D! Get that into your head right now! Goodbye, Darius. I hope the bitch was worth it!”
Before he could whine anymore, Kat Ended the call and blocked his number. She looked at me and gave me a rueful smirk. “Well, that’s that. Zero Tolerance.”
I nodded. “Zero Tolerance. I agree, Kat. Cheaters don’t deserve second chances.”
“So, what is she doing with the Divorce? Don’t even tell me she’s going to take you to the cleaners! I swear, I’ll smack the blonde off her head!” Kat always got me going with her euphemisms, and I found myself grinning at that one.
“Strangely, no. She wants $2200 a month in alimony, probably so I won’t try to stand in the way of her getting remarried ASAP, but other than that, the settlement she’s offering is very fair.” I shrugged. I was all cried out, and had come into the ‘acceptance’ phase of Divorce Grief.
Ok, ‘acceptance’ was way off. I wanted to make them pay, and now that I was thinking clearly, my plan was coming into shape in my head. It would depend on a few things, like who was catering their wedding, but the more I went over it in my head, the better it felt.
“So she must be serious about the asshole? Did she tell you who it was?” Kat asked.
“Yeah, and you’re going to love this. Reginald Pennington IV.” I smirked.
Kat’s eyes went wide. “Shit! I never woulda taken Maggie for a gold digger!”
“Neither would I, until now. She had everyone fooled, apparently.” I shrugged. “Her parents never liked me, so I’m pretty sure they pushed her into it, at least a little. I was never ‘good enough’ for their little darling.” Ok, I have to admit that I let my bitterness show through there for a moment.
“Well, fuck ’em.” Kat shrugged. “I can see the wheels turning, Mac. What are you planning?”
Kat could always see when I was thinking really hard. She saw it often enough at work when I’d have to solve some problem in the shop or the factory.
“Revenge of monumental proportions.” I smiled serenely as I told her. “Just trust me on this. It will make a lasting impression on them for the rest of their lives.”
“Ok, I’m almost afraid to ask. What you got so far?” Kat was chuckling now.
I laid out my basic plan for her, and she erupted into gut-busting laughter. “You are one CRAZY mothafucka!” She squealed as tears of laughter fell down her face. “Ok, we need to figure out how to do this shit!”