“Why don’t you just carry me home?” I teased, but he didn’t take it that way. The next thing I knew I was being carried naked across the short sidewalk that divided our houses. It was morning and the sun was just peeking out over the horizon.
“You are crazy,” I laughed as he set me down next to my sliding glass door. “I had a wonderful night,” I added, wrapping my arm around his neck and kissing him hard on the lips, while my hand rested against his muscular chest.
“Me too,” he sighed. “I think partly because it was so unexpected,” he whispered. “If you want to do it again, I’ll be waiting… and watching,” he added with a smile. Oh my. I had forgotten about that. What was I going to do about his watching?
“I might have to close my curtains,” I teased.
“You might,” he smiled as he turned and headed home.
I was exhausted and exhilarated as I crashed out on top of my bed, falling immediately into a deep slumber. I never saw the message light blinking on the answering machine until I awoke much later in the day and it was the most disconcerting message you could imagine.
“Hi Hon,” my husband’s voice sounded from the tiny speaker. “I guess you’re up and out early, maybe swimming a few laps?” The message was time stamped at 6:30 a.m. “I would have sent you my usual good morning text, but Jennifer has my cellphone. She accidentally threw it in her briefcase last night with a bunch of stuff she was taking home. I was going crazy trying to figure out what happened to it until she called.” He was laughing, and I picked up a hint of exhaustion in his voice. Maybe he did work all night. “Anyway, see you tonight for dinner. I love you. Bye.”
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What the fuck have I done? Here I thought I was so smart with that Find My iPhone app. Could it be true? Did he really just work all night while I was next door, handcuffed to Ron’s bed? Oh my God! What kind of slut wife would do something like that?
I was lying naked on my bed, my pussy aching from my overnight adventure, with tears streaming down my cheeks. Fuck! I clenched my fists. What was I going to do? Why did I go swimming? Why did Ron have to be watching me? I was normally a clear thinking, problem solver but I had never faced anything like this before. Twelve years of marriage nearly down the drain because of one terribly wrong assumption. I just stared at the ceiling, completely immobilized, trying to make sense of this horrible nightmare.
Stop it! Time to shut down the pity party, my self-talk kicked in. You can’t turn back the clock so what are you going to do? First, I knew I could never tell Ken what I had done. That would only exacerbate the situation. Second, the only right answer was to never, ever do anything like this again and figure out some way to make it up to him.
Right there and then I decided I would have to be the most loving, generous, sexually enticing wife a man could ever desire. For the rest of our lives, he would want for nothing.
I started crying again when I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time we had made love. It had been almost a month and it had been so perfunctory I couldn’t even recall the details. Did I blow him? Damnit! I have obviously not been the wife I should have been. That changes right now, today!