I couldn’t take her intense look any longer and turned away. I couldn’t lie to her. Not any more.
She came down and hugged me. “God, I knew it. I could feel it. I was so close to losing you.”
“Never. It wasn’t even close.”
She sighed, “Don’t ever tell Beth. Nothing. She loves you as much as I do. She’d be devastated.”
I held her, kissing her body where ever I could reach. “No she doesn’t. And I’m afraid she already knows how I feel about you.”
I rolled my dream girl off of me onto her back, and climbed between her legs. I made love to her gently, kissing her pretty face, nibbling on her soft lips.
“You scared me tonight, Jack,” she said softly.
“I’m sick to death over hurting you. Of risking losing you. I didn’t know anything could hurt as bad as seeing you hold back from me.”
She looked at me sadly, the tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t know, couldn’t know that my insecurity would do that to you.”
“No, it wasn’t insecurity. You knew. I don’t know how, but you knew. From 6000 miles away, you knew I cheated on you for the first time. I swear I’ll never do it again. I hope someday you’ll forgive me.” Our lovemaking had slowed to the point where I was taking several seconds to slide in and out of her.
“For the first time? How many girls have you been with since we’ve been together. I’m sure there’s lots I don’t know about.”
“None that ever mattered. I’m ashamed to say it, but I don’t even think about it when I’m with somebody else. No matter how good or how fun it is. It’s just sex. This time, I thought about you all the time, and what I was doing to you. And I did it anyway. Now do you understand why I don’t deserve you?”
“Don’t. I thought we were past that. Don’t ever say that to me again.” She pulled my hips against her, stilling me. “Please, don’t. You must know that I don’t feel like I deserve you, after all I’ve been through. You’re a Godsend, more than I’d ever dreamed for. Every time you say it, it makes me feel more and more like I’m the one that’s not worthy. So please stop. For me.”
“I’m sorry. I keep hurting you, and I never mean to. I’ll do better. Be patient with me, please,” I kissed her softly.
“Do I still excite you?” she asked softly, smiling.
“Does the sun rise in the east?”
“Then show me. Fuck me, Jack. Enough of this sappiness. I need you to love me hard. Make me come for you. Use me like you can’t resist me. Fuck me.”
I fucked her. I bent her legs back and pounded her into the mattress. I turned her over, raised her butt up and hammered her, driving her up the bed until her head was bouncing off of our new headboard. I threw her on her side, straddled one leg while I clutched the other one to my chest, and abused her pussy, deeper and faster than I thought possible. I came inside of her, groaning for her, but didn’t slow down, using her for my pleasure.
She came for me several times, moaning sweetly when she did, exciting me to further heights. But her pleasure was a side-effect, not my goal. I was after my own pleasure, using my Goddess for my own base needs. I finished on top of her again, both of us breathing hard, plunging into her deeply, but slower, as she drained me of the last remnants of my strength. Her feet wrapped around my thighs, pulling me into her as I long-stroked her to completion, gasping as I filled her again.