Joseph was still sitting on the old bucket and I was standing just a few feet in front of him. I didn’t really know where to start. But I wanted desperately to show my body to my brother. I thought of those women he looked at and I wanted him to find my body more agreeable, more attractive, than theirs. I realized the easiest thing to remove was my bonnet. I untied the bow around my chin and place the bonnet gently on the hood of the truck. Then I reached into my hair and removed the pins holding it in place. I shook my head and let my long chestnut hair cascade down my back. I looked over at Joseph, his eyes were wide and he was not moving.
“Do you like my hair?” I asked nervously. No man had seen my hair since I was a very little girl. He looked at it longingly.
“Yours is the loveliest hair I have ever seen, it is so long and it shines beautifully,” Joseph said as though he were in awe. I giggled and hid my face in my hands. I felt so odd, my stomach was full of butterflies and I felt the same tension I’d felt the night before. My loins ached and my breathing was shallow. I wondered what it meant but I pushed on.
“Thank you,” I barely whispered. Then I reached behind my back and carefully reached for my zipper. It took a little contorting but soon I found it and slowly unzipped the back of my dress down. My dress became looser and hung off of my body now. But I was still completely covered. The next step would change that. I thought for a moment about what God would think of this and whether I was committing a greater sin now than I’d ever committed before. But all I felt was love, and an extreme desire to share my body with my brother. I wouldn’t stop now.
I slipped my arms out of the long, loose sleeves of my dress, letting the fabric that covered my breasts and stomach flop forward. I was too nervous to look at my brother; I just looked down at my bare breasts and flat stomach. Next I grabbed the waist band of my dress and pushed it off of my hips. The dress slid down my legs and pooled on the floor of the barn. The barn was dirty so I quickly stepped out of my dress (still wearing my shoes) and then carefully lifted my dress and placed it on the hood of the truck. Only then did I look over at my brother.
I knew, generally, what he was looking at. He saw my long, dark hair draped over my shoulders, slightly obscuring my breasts and my shoulders. Her saw my long, thin arms held gently to my side. He saw the swell of my breasts and the way my body tapered down to my hips. Then he saw the swell of my hips, before my legs tapered down to my little feet. Her saw my round, pink nipples and the hot red gash between my legs. A gash that was glistening from those juices it continued to mysteriously make as I was excited.
I looked at my brother now. He looked frozen onto his little seat, except for his eyes. They flittered around all over my body, drinking me in. I should have felt bad, I should have felt naked, and I should have felt ashamed. But I didn’t feel any of those things. I felt exalted and somehow wanted. It was a lovely and selfish feeling. But it was more than that, I could tell that my brother was enjoying my body; I was sharing it with him. And that made it more than selfish; it made my nakedness a gift.
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