“Uhh, okay,” I stammered, looking at Johan a little cockeyed. “What… what room number are you in?”
The words felt strange and uncomfortable as they left my mouth.
“1134,” he said.
“1134,” I repeated, nodding. “Okay.”
Back in our room, as I helped Danny get set up for bed, an uneasy feeling passed over me. Johan had been acting strangely during dinner, paying less attention to Danny than he usually did, and now he wanted to talk with me about him. I felt anxious, wondering if something was going on between the two of them.
After Danny was in bed, I stepped quietly out into the hallway. As I walked down the corridor towards Johan’s room, I tried to reassure myself that this wasn’t going to be anything to worry about. I needed tomorrow to go smoothly for Danny. He had invested so much of himself into this tournament, and I couldn’t bear the thought of him being letdown.
As soon as I knocked on the door, it swung open. Johan was standing in the doorway, tall and blonde and Germanic, wearing a white t-shirt and running shorts. He was holding another beer.
“Hi,” he smiled.
“Are you still drinking?” I said, looking askance at him. “Is that a good idea?”
He shrugged, turning around and beckoning me to come in. I followed him into the room, shutting the door softly behind me.
Johan sat down on his bed, leaning back against the headboard. He gestured for me to sit next to him, but I shook my head and remained standing.
“It’s late,” I said, looking down at my Apple Watch. “What’s this about Danny?”
Johan sighed.
“It’s not easy,” he said.
“What isn’t?” I said, my heart falling into my stomach.
“Being friends,” he said. “With Danny.”
I wanted to disagree, but I bit my tongue because I knew it was true.
“I… I’ve really tried,” Johan said, sipping his beer.
“I know you have,” I said, my voice a little hoarse. “And my husband and I, we’re so, so grateful to you. You’re the best friend that Danny’s ever had.”
“I try to be the bigger man,” Johan continued. “But it’s hard.”
I stood quietly, waiting for him to go on.
“He’s taken a lot from me, you know,” he said. “Championships, world records… soon, probably my last one.”
“But everybody loves you,” I said, trying to control my emotions. “You’ll always be a champion, Johan, no matter what Danny does.”
“I’ve given Danny a lot, wouldn’t you agree?” he said, looking at me. “But I haven’t gotten enough in return.”
“I know,” I said, folding my hands over my heart. “Believe me, I know what that feels like. To love him so much it hurts, to give him everything you possibly can and… most of the time, he doesn’t even know he’s supposed to say thank you. I know… I know how hard it can be sometimes.”
“You have to keep doing it because you’re his mom,” Johan said, sipping his beer. “But I can’t.”
“Johan, please,” I said, clasping my hands. “He really needs you as a friend during this tournament. It would crush him.”
Johan looked at me. He turned the beer can upright, emptying its contents into his mouth.
“I think I need… some incentive,” he said, setting the can down on the bedside table.