The unceasing obsessing took a toll on me and my thoughts started spiraling uncontrollably. I became desperate enough to take my anti-anxiety pills out of the medicine cabinet and hold the bottle in my hand for close to an hour, staring at it. I hated those pills as they made me see the world through a sort of veil and I always had the distinct feeling I was missing something. I never felt like I was all there when I was on my meds. What saved me in the end was I thought of Nico’s eyes and a calming peace came over me. The pressure slowly lifted off my chest and I put the bottle back without taking one pill.
I finally received a short text from her just after midnight: Happy fucking new year. Short and to the point, just like Nico.
On my second night back at school I was working the graveyard shift at the computer lab and since classes didn’t start until the next day I was the only one working. I surfed the web aimlessly, trying to ward off sleep. It was after two in the morning when Nico came in wearing a leather miniskirt and matching leather jacket, her hair was spiked into a mowhawk. Fishnet stockings, black fingernail polish, heavy eyeliner and black lipstick completed her outfit. Whenever she moved a dozen zippers on her jacket jangled softly.
“I’d like to apply for a job,” she said as she leaned over the counter. I smiled at her and handed her the form which she filled out in a matter of seconds. “How about an interview?” she asked as she gave back the application.
I shook my head. “Can’t. I’m the only one working and I have to stay at the desk. You’ll have to come back some other time.”
“Ok then, let me back there, I want to sit with you.”
“Sorry, you know the rules.”
“Come on, there’s only one fucking’ guy here. Who’s he going to tell? Let me back there and you can pretend to be training me on how to turn on a computer or something.” I frowned at her, trying to think of a good reason not to. Nico shrugged, sat up on the counter, swung her legs over and hopped down into the workstation before I could stop her. I shot a glance at the student sitting at the far side of the room but he hadn’t noticed.
Nico sat in a chair next to mine and lazily spun back and forth. “How was your break?” she asked. “Did you miss me?”
I felt my ears burn. “It was ok and, yes, I missed you.”
“That’s sweet. How much cunt did you eat?”
“I had none.”
“Sounds kinky. Who was the nun?” I shook my head in mock frustration trying to mask the laughter I felt inside. Nico leaned back in the chair. “When do you get off?” The question sounded mostly innocent.
“Not until six.”
She frowned and looked around the lab. “I can see why you’d like working a shift like this, what with your condition and all.” There was a bit of venom behind that last bit and it stung a little. Her face suddenly brightened. “Hey, it looks like we may have another client, a friend of Amanda’s. I’ll try to set it up where there aren’t a whole lot of people so you won’t, you know, freak out.”
“I don’t know,” I said, “I’m not sure I want to.”