Mom got up, and stormed out of the room, dropping her glass loudly in the kitchen sink.
I was devastated and ashamed at what just happened. I had read this all so wrong, or let my fantasy take the lead over common sense, and now the love of my life was totally put off by me.
I went to bed but could barely sleep. I tossed and turned all night.
In the morning I didn’t even want to face Mom, but finally went into the kitchen where she was working at the stove.
Mom looked back at me and said, “Oh my God, Doug, you look like death!”
I sheepishly looked at her feet and responded, “I feel like death. I am so sorry for last night Mom. I love you so much and never meant to do anything to hurt you.”
Mom turned and opened her arms to me, and I stepped into them. She was talking into my chest, “Stop, I overreacted, I was so startled and instead of accepting your sweet offer of love with appreciation, I ran. But we are mother and son, that kind of love is never appropriate.”
My heart soared, and I said, “Mom you are so special, that is why I love you so much. I thought last night I had ruined any relationship we had.”
“Get a cup of coffee and let’s talk,” Mom said as she took her coffee cup to the living room.
I got a cup and followed. I sat next to her on the couch with a respectable space between us.
Mom patted the couch next to her hip, “Move over here, as we discuss what happened and how we go forward. I certainly do not was to lose the closeness we have built up over the past few weeks.”
I slid over and Mom picked my arm up as I did and put it around her shoulders. She looked up at me and said softly, “Kiss your mother.”
I dropped my lips to hers and kissed her lightly on the lips. I pulled back and looked into her eyes.
Mom smiled and said, “I love that, and I love the feeling I get when you hold me in your arms. I feel safe and wanted.”
My mind was reeling in confusion, and I blurted out, “That is all I want for you Mom, to know how much I love you and that I will always be here for you.”
Mom searched my eyes and replied, “I know, and I love you so much and never want anything to come between us, we just need to show our love within appropriate limits. I never want to push you away, and I never want to have you worry about being totally honest and open with me. Now kiss me again.”
I kissed my mother’s soft lips and while I did not risk slipping my tongue out, we kissed for a long time and I noticed she was breathing heavy like I was.
When we broke, Mom smiled and said, “All better? Do you forgive me for last night’s outburst and are you willing to talk openly?”
I kissed her quickly and answered, “Yes of course, I was my fault not yours.”
“Shhh, no one’s fault, now tell me what brought about all that talk about such an inappropriate topic?” She asked.
My mind was racing trying to figure out what, and how much, to tell her! I realized we had agreed to be open and honest, so I jumped right in.
“Mom, since I was a teenager I had always found you to be the most special and most beautiful woman I ever met. I have wanted you as a lover all these years, but of course fought the feelings.”