Chuck, sharing the front seat, answered. “Two name tags, one over each perfect, full, squeezable boob.” His hands gestured as though they lovingly cradled one of the legendary mounds. “Instead of ‘Hello I’m’ she changed it to ‘Hello We’re’, as in ‘We Are’.”
Troy was still trying to get it. “So, we’re supposed to fill in the blank?”
Chuck shrugged without turning around. “I guess. No one knows for sure.”
“Are there ellipses?” Jay asked. He pronounced it ee-lip-seez.
“Jesus, Jay! Lips what?”
Jay explained. “Three dots. Periods. That would make it clear she’s looking for whatever comes next.”
“Periods?” Vern was laughing at his own joke before he got it out. “I hope not. Naked periods walking around would be nasty.”
Chuck chimed in. “And Jaybird will be what comes next. Probably shoot his little load as soon as he sees her.”
Laughter filled the station wagon. Jay even joined in at that one, but still blushed at the insult, wondering if there was some truth to it.
Jay felt better about himself once they’d stripped in the parking lot after sitting in the hot car too long, gathering their courage and watching the couples, singles and small groups filtering in. They didn’t recognize anyone from town. As usual, it seemed most of the attendees had driven down from the bigger cities like Akron and Canton and even as far away as Cleveland. More than a few looked suspiciously like hippies and most were older and wrinklier than a young man’s idea of what he’d hope to see at such an event.
Jay had the advantage of being a swimmer, competing on his school’s team in the winter and an AAU club during the summer. That meant he had a fair amount of lean, toned muscle and a good even tan everywhere a Speedo didn’t cover.
The other three had some version of a “farmer’s tan:” sun-browned arms and a tan ring around the neck, pale everywhere else. Chuck and Troy apparently both wore short sleeves outside: their tan started at the bicep, with Chuck adding the extra triangle of a v-neck. Vern had bordered on fat even when he played football, and the time away from sports hadn’t helped. Combining that with the habit of wearing just a sleeveless undershirt and cut-off jeans whenever outside left him with a flabby two-tone hick look that made the others appear in a far more positive light.
As they headed to the gate, tickets in hand, Jay’s mind went over the riddle again and again. There had to be some trick to it. Something these clods had missed. And every other clod too, since apparently no one had yet solved Red’s mystery.
—–
By noon, the girls had endured a near endless stream of attempted riddlers. Christine was the only one still with Robin. The other two had left a little while earlier with a pair of cute Akron University basketball players who had turned their attention elsewhere after their riddle-solving attempts came up short: “Absolutely perfect” was complimentary and not gross, but woefully unoriginal; “the early birds, looking for their worm,” accompanied by a knowing glance at his own naked worm, had gotten a chuckle from one of the girls and a synchronized eye roll from the others.