In the small town, Red stood out, and once the guys saw Brainiac Jay (if Vern been had been a little quicker with words and thought, ‘Jayniac’ would have been the kind of teasing label he would have used tirelessly) turn into a clumsy fool at the sight of her, they were merciless.
Other than Brainiac, the best Vern had been able to do in terms of nicknames for him had been Jaybird, after Jay had been spotted bird watching as a twelve year old in an orchard outside town, his dad’s heavy old binoculars around his neck. Bird watching, like being smart and reading anything not specifically required, was just plain odd.
With the limited creativity Vern generally showed, it was no wonder he was so proud of coming up with Riddle-me Red. Taking a line from the Riddler on Batman from TV and combining it with another word that started with the same letter (alliteration was not a word in Vern’s world) was the very peak of his inventive prowess.
Brainiac Jay’s public downfall had been at Fred’s Root Beer drive-in last summer. Riddle-me herself had passed near as Jay was carrying a full tray of root beer in frosty thick glass mugs, burgers, and deep-fried mushrooms. Distracted by the sighting, his foot had caught on the low curb he had stepped over successfully since he’d been a toddler, sending food flying. It has gone downhill from there when she bent over to help him. He caught a glimpse of her cleavage as she leaned down and he turned into a stuttering klutz, failing three times before he got the spilled mugs and now soaked paper-wrapped food back onto the tray.
Vern and Billy had witnessed it from Billy’s old “three on the tree” Ford pickup, howling with laughter. The story had only grown from there with each telling. The worst part of the teasing was the truth behind it: Jay found girls in general rather confounding, especially pretty ones, and the redhead was the prettiest girl he had ever seen.
The vision of her blue eyes looking into his, and her sweet smile, without a hint of laughter at his clumsiness, combined with the brief glimpse of her pale full breasts pressed together over the thin line of lace bra haunted his fantasies ever since. He still saw vividly the speckling of faint freckles that has been revealed to him in that soft creamy valley whenever he thought of her. And he thought of her often, especially in bed when the lights were out.
Jay signed. He knew he wouldn’t approach her close enough to see those freckles again, but the chance to see Red naked was too good to miss. “Okay, I’ll go.”
Vern had managed to borrow his parent’s station wagon. Jay was in the back seat with Troy, the quiet slim one who had been Vern’s yes-man and shadow since kindergarten. For once, Troy spoke up, leaning over the back of the vinyl-covered bench front seat. “What’s Red’s riddle again?”
“Man, it’s two words! You’ve gotta mind like…” Vern paused, stumping himself with how to finish what he’d started.
Jay pitched in. “Swiss cheese? A sieve?”
“Shut up, Brainiac!” Troy turned to punch him in the arm, already pissed he was stuck in the back with the nerd.