I looked down shyly.
It was okay.
Look, I was really nervous because of your brothers. Im still terrified of them finding out about this, you know He paused for several moments. I guess my point is, if I could do it again, there would be things Id do differently.
I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts.
Anthony, listen to me. First, my brothers arent going to find out what were doing, so please stop worrying about that. Were sneaky, and being careful. Also, they arent that smart, okay?
We smiled at each other, and for the first time, I really felt comfortable around him.
Second, thats why I I came back. So we can hopefully make this better.
Your first time should have been good, and I made it shitty for you, and Im sorry.
Lets just put that behind us and figure out what we can do, going forward, to make it better.
We sipped our water, and I watched as he thought for several moments.
My girlfriend says its better without a condom, but she wont let me do it with her without using one, and theres no way in hell were risking that anyway.
If this is going to work, I have to be honest with him.
Im on the pill, Anthony.
His jaw dropped open.
Why would a virgin be on the pill? he asked incredulously.
I took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to proceed.
I dont want to gross you out, but my periods were really, really bad. My mom took me to see my gynecologist and she put me on the pill to help regulate it, and make it less severe.
So I I Dont have to use a condom?
Well, from what I hear, thats the other thing the pill is supposed to do, keep you from getting pregnant.
Smart ass.
We smiled at each other.
There are other things I know how to do that will make it better for you, if youre willing to let me do them.
Anthony, I trust you, and Im willing, okay?
He took my hand and we proceeded to the living room. I took a few seconds to look around. Their house was a lot smaller than ours, but it felt really cozy. The living room was very tastefully decorated with nice paintings and various pictures of Anthonys parents, and Anthony, at different stages of his life.
You were a cute baby, I said softly.
Of course I was, and Im still cute, he said, giving my hand a little squeeze.
This experience was nothing like Monday. I felt so calm and comfortable. Anthony was really nice and really sweet. I realized that even though we hadn’t had many interactions, but when we did, he was always sweet to me. I just never gave him a chance, probably because of my brothers.
We went up the stairs and into his bedroom. Again, I took a second to look around. Like my brothers, he had a lot of posters on his walls of different NFL and NBA stars, as well as some posters of various rock bands. However, unlike my brothers, he had several posters of pretty girls in very small bikinis. That was something that my very religious mother didnt allow.
Ill go into the bathroom and get undressed again.
I squeezed his hand which stopped him.
No, let’s get undressed here, together, okay?
He smiled softly.
We began to undress in front of each other. Again, I felt calm and relaxed. My mom never allowed me to buy sexy lingerie, and this was the first time I wished she would have. I think she was afraid that if I did have racy underwear, Id only want to show it off to guys, and of course, that was the last thing she wanted.