Then again? Maybe not.
=====
Tony looked down at his clock again. Barely five minutes had passed since the last time he checked.
He closed his eyes and let the feel of the room overtake him. The hum of a busy parking lot was both comforting and concerning but it was the smell that really stood out.
Even though he knew from the minute he walked into this hotel that his room was clean but it almost felt … too clean. Like it was too sanitized. Like someone came in and wiped down every inch of the room with Lysol and took any sense of personality with it.
Those were Tony’s thoughts as the clock ticked closer to 8 p.m. He looked at his hands and could see beads of sweat forming on his palms. He was nervous.
Tony was trying, and failing, to do whatever he could to stop from focusing on why he was in this room.
Tony was a married man, happily married in fact. And he’s not proud of what he’s doing here but, honestly, it’s for the best. Spiritually. Mentally. Physically.
Kayla would understand.
Tony’s wife knew he would end up doing this one day — he’d been open about this fantasy for most of their marriage — and while their relationship might not be as physically satisfying as he wanted it to be, it’s otherwise absolutely perfect. He loved her. She loved him. But he needed something different.
When you’d been together with someone for close to two decades, that’s just the way it was. You could still love each other and be there for each other but, physically, you couldn’t expect the excitement to still be there the same way it used to. And if you hadn’t lost your need for sex, but your partner had, it’s impossible to bury that thought forever.
He’s not cheating.
No, really. He’s not.
His wife knew this would happen.
There aren’t a lot of people who would understand the deal Tony made with Kayla on their last wedding anniversary but it was completely on brand for their relationship. Permission to hire an escort? What kind of wife would allow that? It was practically unheard of in their small Florida town.
But she did. And bless her heart for it. Kayla understood that what her husband was asking for was strictly a physical release. It’s really no different than jerking off to porn or using a Fleshlight. In fact, the only rules she put in place were that no one else could know about it and they’d never speak to each other about it.
Kayla’s mindset was simple. When the man of your dreams, the one you’ve built a life with, asked you for something important to him, and explained why he needed it, there’s really no reason to say no. Not when you have that level of trust. Not when he’s spent his entire adult life giving you everything you wanted and more.
Kayla knew Tony wasn’t going to leave her for an escort he slept with once or twice. So, while she didn’t want to think about it, she didn’t mind saying yes when he asked for that pass almost eight months ago.
He still hadn’t used it though. Until tonight.
Maybe he was scared. Maybe he was nervous. For whatever reason, even WITH his wife’s blessing, Tony couldn’t help but think this whole thing felt wrong.