My mouth went dry. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t form the words. The only thing I could think to do was look down at the table.
“No sir,” she stated, “we have to live together, so we are gonna discuss this. I don’t care how embarrassed you are.”
“When I came into the bathroom that night you were getting out of the shower,” I finally responded. “The way the water was dripping off you naked body was a really intense moment for me.”
Mom took a deep breath and let out a short sigh. She put both elbows on the table and put her face in her hands. When she lifted her beautiful face from her contemplative pose, she nodded as if to say she understands the situation.
“I know I’m a young,” she finally started, “I know I am attractive, but you are my son. You need to keep that in your head.” she paused briefly to look into my eyes. I think she wanted to see if I understood her. “You cannot lust after your me. It’s unacceptable.”
“Look, Mom, I know that,” I began, “I have seen you walking around in some pretty revealing clothes my whole life and not once did I ever look at you as anything other than my mom, but when I saw you naked it flipped a switch in my primal brain that I can’t flip back.”
“Well,” she said, “we have to find a way to get this out of your system.”
“I have an idea,” I said, “but I don’t think you are gonna be okay with it.”
Her baby blue eyes narrowed. She seemed to have an idea of what I was going to propose, and before I could even say anything she raised her index finger to me.
“No,” she said, “do not even suggest it.”
“Mom, you said it yourself,” I plead, “I have to get it out of my system.”
“I meant that you need to find a girlfriend or something,” she told me, “I was not suggesting that.”
“It’ll just be the one time,” I argued, “then I’ll be able to move on.”
She reluctantly said nothing. It was very obvious that she just wanted to say no again, but apparently my statement hit some kind of chord with her.
“What if it has the opposite effect?” she asked, “Did you think of that? What if you just want more. That isn’t healthy.”
“Do you think it’s healthy for me to think about you and masterbate, or dream about having sex with you and waking up in a pool of jizz?” I asked rhetorically. “‘Cus I’ve done both of those things.”
Her jaw dropped. I don’t think she was expecting me to be so candid. She quickly covered her mouth and looked away.
“Just have sex with me,” I finally said the words she hadn’t let me say earlier, “Do it because you love me and want to help me get over this wall that I’ve hit.”
“Babe, I love you more than anything in this world,” she said turning back to me, “but you are asking a lot from me.”
I stood up and walked out of the kitchen. I was frustrated and embarrassed. I had just asked my mom to sleep with me, and I didn’t know what to think of myself. I closed the door to my room pretty hard and sat down on my bed. Sitting there I thought about the conversation and how it could have gone differently. In another reality she would have said, “Sure thing let’s do it now,” and I would have been fucking her right then. I was lost in my feelings.