Lionel was beside himself with joy. Our portrayal of Garth and Lady Primrose would leave an audience in no doubt that they were destined for a long and happy relationship.
Our performance seemed to stimulate the others, leading them on to ever greater heights.
Then came the opening night and the accompanying nerves.
Sadie Hodge who was playing Myrtle the maid said she couldn’t go on and she couldn’t remember a single line. She was shoved on stage by the stage manager and acquitted herself excellently.
As the final scene closed the play we were greeted by loud applause, which was redoubled because mother had fumbled the hooking up of her bras and was still holding the cups to her breasts when we lined up to take our bow.
On Saturday night we also had a great success, but these two performances were as nothing compared to the next Friday night. That was the night when the vicar was present, and he was sitting right in the front row. It was then mother carried out her boldest stroke.
We had lined up at the end of the performance to take our bow. Again mother hadn’t hooked up her bras. After our first bow she simply let go of the bras and they fell onto the stage.
There was a gasp from the audience, a few seconds of silence, and then a storm of applause broke out, people standing, cheering, I could see the vicar clapping and cheering along with everyone else.
The upshot was that we had to hire the Memorial Hall for an extra week and play every night, plus a Saturday matinee, as people from towns all around tried to book seats. In the city you can see plenty of bare breasts on stage, but in the country it was a novelty to say the least.
Mother and I went to church as usual on Sunday, wondering what the vicar would have to say. He preached from the text, “Have you not read he who made them made them male and female?”
By some circuitous reasoning he went on the say that since God had made us male and female we should not be ashamed to display this fact.
We got a rave review in the Weekly Trumpet and all ended in high triumph, with of course Lionel still taking all the credit.
Epilogue
It was about a fortnight after “The Mature Lady Wins” closed that Lionel visited us in a state of great excitement.
“Darlings,” he said, “I’ve found just the play for you two. It’s called ‘The Naked Truth’ and it has the most delicious bedroom scene, sexual intercourse included – simulated of course. It will be absolutely fabulous, it’s just made for you two.”
Mother said, “Would you mind if David and I read the script before we give you an answer?”
“Not at all my treasure,” he replied cheerfully, “because I know you’ll just love it. I’ve brought copies with me.”
“What about a rehearsal and performance schedule?” I asked.
“Yes sweetheart, I’ve got it all worked out, here you are.”
He left us with many declarations of affection.
It was actually the schedule we needed to see because mother had to work out whether or not she would be, as she put it, “Showing” before the final performance.
She decided it would be okay and since during the bedroom scene the sexual act was to be performed under bed covers, when in the mood mother and I made it the real thing. This did mean slowing up the action a bit, but the audience didn’t seem to mind, in fact when we both managed to climax together they cheered. The real thing seems to be so much more effective than simulation.